When Jeremy got his colonoscopy a few months ago, the CRNA – as he was putting Jeremy under – asked, hey – do you have any chest pain? shortness of breath? and proceeded to move the sticky pads on his chest to try to reposition the leads on the cardiac monitor. Jeremy said he felt great, never better. The CRNA said – huh. you have this ST-elevation in your trace which is usually indicative of a person having a heart attack. And then they shrugged and went ahead and put him under for the procedure (??!!). Anyways, the procedure went fine and it took him like 4 follow up appointments to figure out that the ST-elevation was an anomaly that day for whatever reason. Which brought the total number of appointments stemming from that colonoscopy to 7. 1. Regular appt for checkup to get the order for the colonoscopy. 2. Preop appt. with GI doc. 3. Actual colonoscopy. 4. Follow up appt with reg doc for ST-elevation. 5. Follow up appointment with cardiologist. 6. Treadmill stress test. 7. 2D Echo appointment. Jeremy was a little fed up with all this.
Jeremy failed to go to the doctor right after his tumble from his bicycle. And he seems mostly OK now, the cuts/scrapes/bruises are healed. But there is a persistent fluid bump on his hip that we keep poking at. It is about 5 inches x 5 inches. Not at all bruised, but for sure squishy and probably contains about 50-100 cc of fluid. He was patiently waiting for it to resorb back into his body, but it seemed to not be changing over time. Finally, last night, I typed into google – trauma hip fluid lump and found that he probably has Morel-Lavallée lesion. He spent the night reading about it. Maybe it’ll need to be drained or debrieded? or have a wound vac? He said – this one guy needed a vacuum for six days! Do I need to spend six days in bed? I said they have cute portable wound vacs. Then I said he probably won’t need a wound vac. And he groaned that he has to go to the doctor again. I said he probably should have gone to the doc right after the bike accident for his head.
I went to Bert’s 7th birthday party on Saturday. Vickey knows how to throw a party. Most of the action was happening outside with a bouncy house and laser tag, but I stayed inside with Edda eating too many snacks. I was helping myself to some more chicken nuggets when I overheard one 8 year old tell her pal – Bert’s parties are always the best parties. Jen (Vickey’s identical twin sister even though they did not share the same amniotic sac) and I laughed and told the little girl to go find Vickey and tell her that.
I had Edda with me. Gina (Vickey’s mom) fed a very happy Edda some pirate booty.
I legit had a nightmare last night about nursing. I never have nightmares. Is this a sign? I don’t think so. I almost always have a feeling of dread or resignation going into a shift (a patient asked me last shift if I enjoyed being a nurse and I did say yes – no hesitation), but I’m usually very happy at the end of a shift having completed it. I dreamt that I was 90 minutes into a shift and the night nurse had failed to give me report. I couldn’t find her for the life of me. Then I went to the charge nurse and asked for the assignment sheet because I wasn’t sure who exactly were my patients. Then she handed me a piece of a paper which was indecipherable and I didn’t know any of the other nurses on the unit. Then I cursed out the charge nurse (! This shocked me even in my dream.). Then there were about 50 middle schoolers crowding the hallway rushing here and there and I wasn’t sure if I was suppose to take care of them or not. On a side note, I got a raise! I’ve never worked so hard for money in my entire life. I’m very happy I never became a doctor because, holy hell, it would have killed me.
Earlier this year I had asked Jeremy if U of I Urbana-Champaign should be on the list. I had a favorable impression of it. Jeremy dismissed it as being in the middle of nowhere. I was like, ah, the college is enormous – it is the town, it should be fine. Anyways, it remained off the list. Last week, Jeremy was sitting in Urbana-Champaign at a college cafe (probably nursing a boba tea and a slightly concussed head) and he said, there are so many hipster Asians here on campus after I drove hours through cornfields; is it on the list? I said, it is not on the &%&^# list! You said it shouldn’t be on the list. I can’t add it to the list, the list is already too long.
At the start of the school year, Vince’s SAT scores were pretty poor in relation to his grades. For example, Rutgers engineering for the middle 50% of admits had a weighted GPA of 3.7-4.2 and an SAT score of 1350-1500. Vince’s numbers were skewed – way above the high end for GPA and way below the low end for the SAT scores which left me confused how to structure the list. I feel since he’s an Asian male wanting to get into STEM, that low SAT score would tank him as the first to get cut. That’s why there are some schools on the list centered around his low SAT scores. (FH, I feel your pain. That damn test.) Anyways, he managed (somehow) to up his SAT scores another 80 points last month (a Hail Mary attempt), so now he’s mostly in the middle 50% of the SAT ranges of all the schools on the list to which I breathed a sigh of relief, maybe there is a chance but still likely the first cut as an Asian out-of-state guy. Vickey was like – now you gotta add U of Michigan to the list. I said – it’s still too much of a stretch for him. And she asked – will you be mad that he gets into all the schools on your list (minus the obviously out of range ones), that you didn’t try for anything more prestigious? I’m said no. Absolutely not. I will thank my lucky stars that he got into all the schools on the list. Anyways the *(*&^ list is too long. I can’t add to the list anymore.
Vince came home yesterday from talking to Ms. Vincent his physics teacher who is writing one of his recommendations. She suggested Purdue to him and he was excited about it. She said a bunch of her former students had gone and had a great time. One majored in engineering and theater both. I said it’s a great engineering school, a bit conservative, but you could become an astronaut. He wanted to add it to the list that is now really too *(&#& long.
We went to inclusion night at Wootton. Put on by the Best Buddies club. Snacks included pizza, chicken nuggets and cookies. Activities included Zumba & bocce ball. And we met Edda’s twin. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her, she looks exactly like Edda! We tried to get a picture of the two together, but Edda’s twin seemed to be a little bit scared of Edda and unwilling to stand right next her. Maybe they need a little time to get to know each other (they are in different classes). It was her helper with her and not her parents and so I asked if Edda’s twin was full Asian or half Asian and it turns out she’s full Asian.
Jeremy worked from home today, so I got to go to lunch with him. We went to the pizza place and ice cream place four hundred steps from our front door. I ordered the lunch special (2 slices of pizza and a drink) like I always do and the proprietor handed me a Diet Coke without asking me which drink I wanted. Jeremy looked at my like I was crazy and said, I didn’t think you ever drank diet Coke?! I said I only drank Diet Coke with the lunch special at this pizza place (which I go to quite often without Jeremy’s company – probably biweekly (not twice a week, but every two weeks. is that semi-monthly instead?)). The proprietor and I laughed about how I’m keeping secrets from Jeremy. Serious Diet Coke secrets.
When Bob & Katherine were decluttering their house, they found an old Star Wars sleeping bag of Ben’s all tattered and worn. I took it home and saved the outside cloth and reinforced (haha! get it? reinFORCEd?) and turned it into a quilt. Now I’m trying to get it to Sweden. UPS quoted me $200. USPS I think is going to be $90. Really?!?
Mom is back in town. She came in from the West Coast last night.
And the day with Edda passes quickly. Somehow when I wake up to Edda’s soft laughter in my bedroom’s monitor, the day stretches out long. I have a list of things to do knowing that I will not do them. By day’s end we have done so very little except happily keep each other company in quietness. We napped together, we ate together. I made little progress in my book while she watched her familiar videos. I cycled loads of laundry through the washer/dryer knowing full well I will never fold.
I feel much better today. If I didn’t know that the room had been spinning for me most of the day yesterday, I don’t think I would have thought much about today, but I do have some tiny residual swaying here and there. I needn’t have worried about sleeping last night. Despite sleeping all day on Thursday, I managed to sleep like a rock last night. This week, I ordered too many pairs of shoes searching for the right hospital shift shoe. I think it should be the Saucony Jazz, but I can’t quite decide the size and/or the color combination. Or even if I like them very much. I don’t usually do this (buy and return) but here I am.
Edda got new old person kicks too. The same as the last pair, but much whiter. This essay made me cry today: here.
Vince went to the Drexel and UC Davis receptions at school today. His impressions are that Drexel is an extended co-op program (18 months in an engineering co-op) which is both kind of cool, but also kind of just jumping into work and not college. He asked about clubs there and they said everyone was really busy and off campus, so the club scene was not so vibrant. UC Davis is a big biking campus (though Vince dragged his friend Sam to the session and they laughed because Sam doesn’t know how to ride a bike despite efforts by Vince to teach him how to) and they have a lot of cows on campus. Or that their unofficial mascot is a cow. And UC Davis is into tube socks. (I’m like tube socks? People at UC Davis like tube socks? huh? ) It’s interesting what Vince comes home to tell me. He’s on a scout campout this weekend and so he’s sous viding chicken thighs for the cookout later.
Had ramen dinner with my dad tonight. And now I’m home alone with Edda for the next 27 hours or so. May the force be with us. Jeremy told me last night he was going to drive a combine today and harvest some soybeans. I hope that went well.
I woke up this morning with a bout of vertigo. I almost fell down the stairs first thing. That would have been bad. After Ning got Edda on the bus, I had her help me do the Epley maneuver which is suppose to reright the misplaced rocks in my head that tell my brain about balance. I’m glad she was there for the first maneuver because, though it only takes about 4 minutes to do, I was dizzy the entire time and by the time I was done turning my head every which way, I was sick to my stomach and just wanted to go to bed. The internet says that this maneuver has a very high cure rate the first time, so I naively thought I could do this and then go about my day, and although I was never as sick from the maneuver as I was the first time, I did have to repeat it throughout the day and sleep. It’s almost bedtime now, and I do feel much better – the room no longer spins rapidly when I turn my head, but I can still feel some tippyness and queasiness. I have two thoughts about today: 1. ugh. I wasted the whole day I got nothing done. 2. I slept all day and it was glorious (and dizzy).
Look, my motherhood dreams do come true. Vince snuggling up to me texting friends and showing my funny memes.
And me reading a book with Edda. One of the things I was looking forward to after being a full time nurse was to restart my two-person reading group with Vickey. We haven’t been able to restart it because we haven’t been able to agree on books. She’s more into character development and language and I want plot-driven books. Hopefully someday.