Just regular folks.

I regularly have meetings with providers for Edda’s services – some of them are annual, some of them are quarterly, some of them are every 45 days and some of them are monthly – at least none of them are weekly or daily, though I do have paperwork tasks that are both weekly and daily. Often, it seems like after I finish a group of them, I immediately turn around and do another set of them. I do not track them, I just get random emails from random people – time for our check-in! I’m like…didn’t we just check in? And we have the meetings and generally Edda is…the same as she was two weeks ago – two months ago. (A good thing).

Sometimes these meetings can happen without Edda, but often they must happen with Edda (because she is suppose to be her own advocate). I used to try to schedule these outside of her day program hours, but everyone (else) prefers to do it during day program hours – so I trek over to her day program to do many of these meetings which I like (sometimes) because I can say “hi” to her personal aide and say hi to some of Edda’s friends. (I also want to take credit here and say that I protect Jeremy’s time with these meetings and almost never ask him to come unless I deem it critical for his presence. He is grateful and will bring home cookies for me from time to time. He will also say “I’m so lucky” with a big bear hug when I feel sort of put-upon and suggest that he tell me that he’s so lucky to not go to the ten thousand meetings I’ve been to. (Mainly I need him there when I think I’m going to cry or when I think they are going to reduce services or tell me some other bad news bear type of news. He doesn’t cry – he says nice things that smooths things over for everyone.))

Sometimes, at these many meetings, the questions are strange – like “Do you have an emergency plan?” and I’m like, for what? Like a zombie apocalypse? Does anyone have a general emergency plan beyond – run? hide? or in the case of covid, sit on your couch and watch tv? (I know some people are preppers with both food and guns, I’m not one of those people. I know the country is going down, but, like the captain of the Titanic (or in my case, only the co-captain of only my household) , I’m going down with it with the string quartet playing. Not moving to Portugal, not moving to France. I’m not sure this is the emergency plan they had in mind, staying on the sinking ship.) Then the questioner leaned over and said – this is more for people on ventilators or what not and the power goes out. I nod and then I say confidently, “Yes, we have an emergency plan”. And then the questioner asks, “Does Edda approve of the emergency plan?” I tilt my head ever so slightly – like…does this meeting even need to happen? do these questions need to be asked? And I say confidently, “Yes, Edda approves the emergency plan for the zombie apocalypse”. And we both laugh.

I love lighting candles for breakfast and dinner – especially in these winter months when it’s so dark. I usually light only one at at time, but last weekend I came into possession of like 4-5 candles and then I decided that it would take me a lifetime to burn though these – so I’m burning them all at once which feels a little scandalous and dangerous. I feel, not like a zombie, rather like a witch. Witch-y! Did you read Circe? I really enjoyed the entire book, but loved Circe’s ability to be a witch with her plant-y spells. Highly recommend!

Happy Chinese New Year! We celebrated by…doing regular Tuesday things.

I’m in the middle of sourcing a new copier for the church. Our current machine one is not serviceable anymore and is about 8-10 years old and in need of new drums and skips pages and it is trying very hard (go little engine!), but not performing very well (alas, missing the top of the hill).

I first noticed this at choir practice when our choir director squinted at the score copies and semi-cursed at the extra horizontal lines that the copier put in. A regular musical staff has 5 horizontal, evenly spaced lines telling you which note it is. The copier had put in extra lines so now the staff had 6 or 7 irregularly spaced lines and the notes (to him) were willy-nilly and frustrating to read. Was that a F#? or a B flat? Who is to say? (I’m embarrassed that I didn’t notice this before his under-the-breath curse – goes to show you how critical I think the note placement is when I am singing. hahaha.).

So as taking apart and putting together machines is a favorite thing of mine, I went to go look to see if I could clean the glass or replace the drum ordered from ebay or whatever. I watched youtube videos, I poked around the machine, I got toner all over my fingers. I decided that it wasn’t going to be particularly easy or cheap. I talked to one the Director of Congregational Life who said (not that the copier had lines, that was not her main complaint), rather – every Sunday when she went to make Sunday copies – the copier would give her random error messages and then she’d open all the doors, take the toner out, shake it around, close all the doors and then maybe it would work. I asked her – so every Sunday? And she said – yes every Sunday.

So I spent a bunch of time talking to a bunch of people about copiers. A copier is about 10-13K, so there is financing involved and honestly, I do strangely enjoy talking to people about copiers. They seem like fun people. Though it is like buying something you have never seen, never tried out, you can’t really go online and read reviews about them on reddit. Do I want the Canon, Ricoh, Kyocera? I put my hands in the air and shrug. I just want it to work, to be under budget and for people to not be mad at me.

A few days ago, I asked Megan if she was at all interested in fly fishing. She was very apologetically texted back saying she did not like anything to do with water. I’ve been dreaming of fly fishing. A few things fuel my interest 1) I have a strong vision of Brad Pitt (again) standing waist deep in a river dappled with sunlight and casting from the film a River Runs Through It (which I have never seen nor read the book from which it draws its inspiration), 2) a this American Life episode about a young flute player who steals a bunch of dead birds from a British museum to sell the feathers on the feather underground (ebay?) to avid fly tying enthusiasts in order to buy a golden flute and 3) a recent chance meeting with a very fun person with bright pink hair at a party who said – we are a women’s fly fishing group, come join us, we have a lot of fun together (all their trips are waiting list only now, I checked).

Then Megan texted back, I can cheer you on from shore while you fly fish and then I admitted that what I really was to invite her to a fly tying class which can be completely separate from fly fishing and involves absolutely no water. Crafty! I said. (No one likes crafts more than Megan). And she was hooked (lol. see what I did there? punny). Look at this gorgeous fly – I can see why some folks want real feathers from real, dead, extinct birds to do this…

We made nothing so lovely. I made a worm from yarn. This worm lure actually has a name: San Juan Worm specifically designed for the San Juan river in New Mexico. Then I got semi-excited because maybe Gila, NM where we often visit is right near the San Juan river….and no. It is not, it is in the complete opposite direction. But there is fishing in the Gila. Anyways, Megan and I had a really fun night tying fake worms to hooks and learning about fly fishing and fly tying.

Yesterday, I went to olympic weightlifting in Frederick. Various lovely opportunities have sprung up for the young adult crowd at the gym and, as is typical for young people full of potential, they took it and they have left the gym (all on pretty good terms). Good for them! But then I find myself strangely and inexplicably a core member of Central Maryland Weightlifting. Perhaps the core member of an olympic weightlifting gym – it is as strange as if I have grown green feathered wings from my back, or if I became a Formula I race driver, but what can I say, life is full of strange and unexplainable things. Just look at our current administration.

My main coach Ward, who learned of this under-30 departure few weeks ago, told me that perhaps they were going to close down the gym and give all the equipment to the young folks and then 25 years of CGM would come to a close. And then I got…sad. Would I have to give up my dream of flight as a green bird? Or my other dream of kissing Brad Pitt driving around a fake race track? I was like – maybe I’m done with olympic weightlifting.

So I showed up yesterday unsure of my continued participation and they said that they were going to keep it going and that they would slowly build up the gym again. I’m not sure this is possible, but it made me…happy. I was there about an hour and a half and I did about 10 snatches. And they were the most beautiful snatches I’ve ever done. In the middle of moving this weight, there is a weightlessness to it. A easy sensation where the bar is almost floating in mid-air, suspended. And your body is moving quickly, but relaxed. This is the feeling that I always want in everything – doing a hard thing, but floating through it, relaxed, but effortful. I was elated, coaches were elated. It was about 35 pounds, not even up to a typical empty barbell. I will be thrilled when I can just do that empty barbell.

I went home and told Jeremy and said – that took almost 1.5 years. He was encouraging – ahh, you are doing great.

What is a snatch? I’ll show you a video of a favorite of mine – this is 206 pounds a weight at which I cannot even begin to lift up off the ground: unbelievable

How quickly I have traveled in age. It just seems like yesterday, in my very early 40s (which really is now more than a decade ago), that I was still able to flirt with college aged men because they thought I was in my (late) 20s. And then there was a moment in my early mid-40s when I realised that the college-aged boy I was semi-flirting with was nice to me because he was humoring me like he would humor his mother. That stayed with me for a while and so I adjusted. And then now in my mid-50s, this is the year. The year I was asked if I qualified for the senior discount, if I’m retired or not, if I have time to go bowling at 10 am on Friday.

I would love to go bowling at 10 am on Friday. I will make a good retired person, I think. I have already too many projects that take up my extra time. Work has been harder than usual the past few months and I think it will get better soon, we’ll see.

So…it’s cold. We are very happy it’s supposed to be above freezing tomorrow. I spent the weekend hunkered down – a lot of my activities were cancelled and I felt under the weather for some reason and we just stayed inside. Jeremy took Elka for some short walks, but her feet hurt her sometimes for unknown reasons (cold? salt?). I had to rescue them in the car on Friday afternoon. Here’s Elka trying to keep all four feet off the ground.

I baked a lot – rice crispy treats

And fig bars.

I got this delicious ita bag from Dani’s brother Josh – I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to be cool with it.

This is how we spent a lot of the weekend

All curled up together on the couch.

I made this almond cake over the weekend. As I was organizing the baking drawers, I noticed some almond flour, so I made this one – no butter! Just leavened with egg whites whipped into meringue. I’m proud of myself with this one because I got this recipe off of a sketchy-ish website and so I had to modify it a lot. I added cream of tartar to stabilize the egg whites and also vanilla and almond extract to bring out the flavor. I also knew that the almond flour mixture was too thick to fold into the meringue, so I diluted it with whole milk. I used some frangipane I had in the freezer as a topping and! I toasted the almonds that went on top to bring out the almond-y flavor. It was not bad. hahaha, no it was good. I really do like the almond flavor – one of my favorite.

After a week of the storm and Edda being at home all week watching TV on her little iPad in my office, we finally broke down and bought a TV for my office. For people who don’t really watch TV, we have so. many. TVs. If you counted how many screens we have larger than 30 inches, it will boggle your mind. It boggles my mind. We don’t watch TV, we don’t watch sports, what do we watch? Jeremy watches a lot of youtube. Edda watches a lot of Disney+ and Amazon Prime (Dora the Explorer circa 2004 is very popular). Anyways, to mount all TVs in the house, Jeremy finally bought an impact driver to more smoothly put screws into the walls. I didn’t know what an impact driver was – I always thought that sound was a broken drill. Anyways, we are using it to fix doors in the house too.

We are still knee-deep in snow here – it’s not going anywhere as it’s been bitterly cold. Our skin is all so dry. Edda’s been home all week as her day program has been closed. Elka may suffer most of all with her paw sensitivity to the salt – Jeremy’s had to carry her for bits at a time during her – very short – walks.

I’ve been trying to work at home with Edda by my side. She’s usually pretty good, but all of Monday and Tuesday she was vocalizing all day – bah, bah, bah, rhythmically, in a very complaining tone – every ten seconds or so. It’s all hard for me to ignore and concentrate on my job because she sounds not satisfied and unhappy and I feel obligated as her mother to make her feel better. But there isn’t much to do about it. On Monday, she was driving me bonkers and I had to banish her to Jeremy’s office so he suffered through it. (he says, I think for my benefit, that it doesn’t bother him as much, but I think he’s just being nice to me) And then on Tuesday, I tried to be all zen with it and be like…I can work through this, it doesn’t bother me..lalalala and maybe it worked? I have no idea, I worked with her complaining all day. Anyways, Wed, she was very calm and relatively quiet. We’ll see what today brings.

I did leave the house on Tuesday to go to a friends birthday party and it was fun after we got over the hump of talking about the terrible national news. What is there to do? I have no idea, I’m so sad.

I also am organizing my baking drawers which after about a year of steadily baking, I know what I want and where I want it. I bought my little tray organizers I like and sorted everything. Now I can see my nuts, my flavorings, my decorations, my different sugars. I’m very happy.

I also found SEVEN boxes of corn starch dating back to 2016. I think Jeremy was cooking at lot with corn starch then and wanted a box everywhere as he was a stir fry cook then and he’s more of a roaster now. I’m keeping the one not expired.

I’m also cleaning out our bedroom (again). This time with a clothes focus which involved emptying a bookshelf full of books. My new dresser comes next week…

Friday night we celebrated Anita’s first birthday and Ginny asked that I bake a cake for the occasion. (Jeremy baked a beautiful cake – like bakery level – for the baby shower and I told Ginny I wasn’t going to be able to meet that level of perfection..). I baked a chocolate cake – usually my nemesis because chocolate turns out dry for me, but not this cake. This was a delicious, delicious cake that I was proud to serve Anita for a celebration. I also made lemon cookies with the rest of the lemon curd that I got from Loanne.

I wasn’t worried about the amount of cookies and/or cake because right after the dinner celebration, we went to Main Street to celebrate Sharon who is stepping down from her role at MS after 5 years. It was a baking celebration, so I brought the rest of the cookies and cake. But we were ever so slightly late and there were so many sweets that my cookies and cake did not get eaten. But because the cookies were on a paper plate…shhhh, I left them because there were only about 7 left. But the cake was all ours.

And we ate this entire thing over about 1.5 days while we were trapped inside because of the snow storm. It was gloriously delicious.

Saturday, I went to guitar lesson and also, perhaps, the most beautiful celebration of life service I have ever been to. I did not know this person who passed away, but I’m an friend of the spouse and it was held at my church, so I went. When I go to these things, I think about all the people who have passed away in my life and I send them my love. It was truly a beautiful service.

Sunday, it snowed. Elka played in the snow with Apollo.

We shoveled at night after the snow ended at about 8 pm because Christine, our basement tenant who parked in the driveway, needed to report to her nursing gig early in the am on Monday. So we made sure she could get out in the morning.

We got Elka these booties because her feet seem to be extra sensitive to salt on the roads.

Went downtown last night to Jeremy’s work’s holiday/new year’s party. (I’m sure I got some of those ‘ wrong). Ginny minded Edda at home (thank you!!!) and we had a few hours to ourselves. We were one of the first ones there at 5pm and we were one of the last ones to leave at..about 7:30pm. It was held in the building where UCS is moving to this year, the old lease on K street is ending and this one is on I street. They had a nice event space and I’m such a fan girl of Gretchen, the new-ish president of UCS, she’s doing such a great job and is so…cool. Just look at the cape/jacket thing she’s wearing. How cool is that? So cool.

I had a really nice time, I talked to a bunch of people on my own, I didn’t hang out right next to Jeremy. I talked to the person with the toddler because I remember bringing our toddlers to UCS parties. I can actually go to a party where I don’t know people and have a good time! I’m happy with my performance (lol.)

These folks are saving the world! I’m so happy Jeremy is very happy with his job. Now the food was fine, but there wasn’t enough of it. It was just plain hors d’oeuvres, not heavy. And I had a glass and a half of white wine and was quite tipsy because there was no food and I never drink and so we decided to go across the street to Five Guys to split a burger and a small fries. That was a lot of fun too.