Hrm. I applied to Specialized just now. I think I wrote a pretty good cover letter. Anyways, I wonder how much money really is enough. I’ve talked about this before with Doris. I think it’s really hard when you look at all your friends with all their BMW’s and fancy houses. Lately, whenever people talk about houses or cars or jobs or whatever, I get to thinking that I’ll never be able to do these things again. That in some ways I’m not really at their level anymore. Everyone’s living on such a higher monetary plane than I am. It’s depressing. No question. I lust after things. As much as I think it’s shallow, it’s true. Will I be happy making 40k 10 years from now? Do I want to continue to avoid the realities of getting a real job? Sometimes I feel like I’m selling out going back to computers. Something in my gut tells me that is the wrong thing for me now. Now the question is do I listen to it?