I started taking antidepressants a few months ago when it was clear that my regular and unmedicated brain chemistry was resulting in many immobilizing boughts of irrational and obsessive thoughts. I know I have a tendency to be a depressive person and this whole thing with Edda was starting to slide me down into a dark hole. Needless to say, my abilities to steer my half of the Martin-Lee ship were diminishing quickly.
Now that I’ve been on them for a while, I feel very even keeled on most days – capable of making prudent decisions for my family and even enjoying myself in the process. Woo hoo! Thank goodness someone invented SSRIs! Yeah for science!
Anyways, I go to a psychatrist in Singapore to get my prescription and I saw him for the first time a few months ago and I didn’t have either kid with me and I mumbled something about Edda being developmentally delayed, but I don’t think he really heard me. I didn’t have Edda’s Rett diagnosis at the time. Anyhow, he sized me up as a directionless housewife whose husband travels a lot and the kids/cleaning/cooking are being taken care of by household help and gave me a few months of pills.
When my pills were starting to run out, I went to see him again. Here’s how the conversation went:
Psychiatrist: So you are looking good!
Me: Thanks! I feel good too.
P: So are you interested in doing some volunteer work? I can put you in touch with some organizations?
M: (thinking, huh? but always optimistic that I can squeeze some volunteer work into my schedule) Umm. Sure, are there any you recommend?
(insert 5 minute talk about volunteering in Singapore)
P: So are you sleeping well?
M: Well, I would be sleeping better if I didn’t have any kids.
P: (looking at his records) Your kids are 4 and 2, they should be sleeping well by now.
M: Oh, my daughter has Rett Syndrome, so she doesn’t sleep that well.
P: (blink, blink) Oh, that’s very rare.
M: Well, not in my house.
P: With the hands (he flaps his hands) and the autism?
P: I’m a child psycologist and I’ve only seen one other case, you know it’s a life long affliction?
M: (!!) Yes, I know! Why do you think I need antidepressants?!?
P: How many pills do you need?
He told me to forget about the volunteering.