I started taking antidepressants a few months ago when it was clear that my regular and unmedicated brain chemistry was resulting in many immobilizing boughts of irrational and obsessive thoughts. I know I have a tendency to be a depressive person and this whole thing with Edda was starting to slide me down into a dark hole. Needless to say, my abilities to steer my half of the Martin-Lee ship were diminishing quickly.
Now that I’ve been on them for a while, I feel very even keeled on most days – capable of making prudent decisions for my family and even enjoying myself in the process. Woo hoo! Thank goodness someone invented SSRIs! Yeah for science!
Anyways, I go to a psychatrist in Singapore to get my prescription and I saw him for the first time a few months ago and I didn’t have either kid with me and I mumbled something about Edda being developmentally delayed, but I don’t think he really heard me. I didn’t have Edda’s Rett diagnosis at the time. Anyhow, he sized me up as a directionless housewife whose husband travels a lot and the kids/cleaning/cooking are being taken care of by household help and gave me a few months of pills.
When my pills were starting to run out, I went to see him again. Here’s how the conversation went:
Psychiatrist: So you are looking good!
Me: Thanks! I feel good too.
P: So are you interested in doing some volunteer work? I can put you in touch with some organizations?
M: (thinking, huh? but always optimistic that I can squeeze some volunteer work into my schedule) Umm. Sure, are there any you recommend?
(insert 5 minute talk about volunteering in Singapore)
P: So are you sleeping well?
M: Well, I would be sleeping better if I didn’t have any kids.
P: (looking at his records) Your kids are 4 and 2, they should be sleeping well by now.
M: Oh, my daughter has Rett Syndrome, so she doesn’t sleep that well.
P: (blink, blink) Oh, that’s very rare.
M: Well, not in my house.
P: With the hands (he flaps his hands) and the autism?
M: Yes…
P: I’m a child psycologist and I’ve only seen one other case, you know it’s a life long affliction?
M: (!!) Yes, I know! Why do you think I need antidepressants?!?
P: How many pills do you need?
He told me to forget about the volunteering.
Sounds like you have a doctor that “gets it”. YAY!
Oh, and there will be a package going out this week! I imagine it will be Friday.
I am going to Stitches Midwest next weekend….is there anything you would like to knit with, but never have? I’d like to make the last package extra special….so don’t hold back if there is something you would really like.
Let me know!
SP8
Doris, everyone has low points. Set up achievable goals and work on it will provide satisfaction about things and, most importantly, yourself. This way it is easier to get out of the depression. It is difficult to be a house wife even if everything is normal. With Edda, things are getting more complicated. Everyone needs a break from that and quality time for his/herself.
Doris, I found your blog through Rebecca’s blog about her little girl. I am sad to learn that your precious baby has the challenges of Rett syndrome. My daughter also has Rett syndrome; she is 10 years old now and brings such a joy in my life.
If it is any encouragement, please know that things do get easier over time. You may not need medications for depression over the long term, but I think it’s marvelous that they have helped for the present. The beginning of this Rett road is very, very difficult. Edda sounds like a wonderful little girl and I can see how she would provide you much inspiration.
The Internet is a wonderful way for closing the distance between families. Here in the United States is another family dealing with Rett that is pulling for you!
Rose-Marie,
mom to Angela, age 10,
Maple Valley, Washington
In case anyone was curious where Maple Valley was..
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Maple+Valley,+WA&ie=UTF8&om=1&ll=47.405785,-122.036133&spn=0.879242,3.100891
I was curious. 🙂
That’s a pretty funny conversation with the psychaitrist. I liked the presentation too. 😛
Doris, I think you are doing well. Just do not think you are along to tackle it. Every one in the family would like to help. Of course, no one can replace you as a mother. Just face the fact and do not waste time and energy in worrying.
I am glad the pill helps. It is not a big deal. Every one has to face some kind of challenge in life. Keep busy is a very effect way.
Take care and Love you.
Doris,
I said “Keep busy” may be you are too busy right now. But, try take cat nap to make up some sleep time. Daddy is very easy to have cat nap. I can do it now in office when I was very tired.
Doris, life is always a challenge. For example and be personal, your Mom and Dad have experienced a lot of rough and tough times separately or together as husband-and-wife. Everytime, we weathered the storm somehow with a lot of better approaches untouched, we recognized later. Some of them, probably Donald & you have already known. But, I believe the majority of them are just with ourselves. Of course, we are very glad to share if interested.
Words of encouragement, you are doing fine and relax, you aren’t alone to face this.