haha. Monday morning and I’m making oatmeal raisin cookies. I’ve been trying to find recipes that allow us to not make 24 cookies all at once, rather we can freeze them and bake them 4 at a time. This time I did scoops and froze them. I’ve done chocolate chip cookies in a refrigerated log and then sliced them when I wanted some cookies. It’s really bad to have 24 cookies all at once. I mean, I can be disciplined in many ways, but 24 cookies during a quarantine is not a situation that is set up to win. BC (before corona), I had tried to cut some calories by cutting out sweets to combat the inevitable middle age weight gain. But there is no way I’m giving up sweets now. I see that the yeast shortage in the country is coming to all the cooking websites and we are headed towards unleavened bread territory. They are like – look out for these recipes soon! I’m going to be making sweets out of quinoa soon.

Do you want to see an ad for travelling nurses? This scares the shit out of me. Jeremy came into the room yesterday and said Cuomo was putting out a nationwide call for nurses to go to NYC. And I tilted my head as if to ask, are you asking me to go to NYC? And then he quickly said – no! I’m not trying to convince you to go to NYC. I said there is service and then there is service. So my unit is short, so I’ll be starting full time again week of April 12. I hope I don’t die. I hope I don’t make my family sick. I actually thought, hmmm – if my lungs filled with fluid and I die, would I have been happy with my life? I would say yes. I would miss everyone a lot and they (I hope) would miss me, but I have no regrets. Mostly I miss my brother who has been out of touch with me for years. My dad was mad at Jeremy for using a surgical mask and not an N95 mask to go grocery shopping. My dad was like – I have a bunch of N95 masks that he should use. I’m like – can we not blow those on grocery shopping trips? Maybe I’ll need them when I start going to the hospital. And my dad was like – oh yes! you’ll need a good mask at the hospital. Face palm.

I want to wrap up Vince’s college application experience so I can remember it later. I want to start by saying that Vince is the best son a mother could have ever asked for. When I told him I was going back to the hospital and that I was scared and that he would need to help Jeremy with Edda-care and the house and the dog and stuff because I wouldn’t be able to touch them for a few months, he said – of course, to not worry and that he would do what needed to be done and the gave me a hug and told me that this was the right thing to do. He is kind and generous with his time and things. He cooked gumbo for dinner for us last night. He is a natural leader and has kids following him around all the time. He tells me he’s not cheating at school even though it’s rampant. He’ll stick up for the underdog. He’s never been self conscious about having Edda as a sister with his friends or in public. He’ll uncomplainingly go to things that I tell him he must go to. The school thing seems so frivolous right now – ridiculous. Vince’s classmates are putting together a google doc full of places where everyone is going – Cornell, Pitt, Arizona and I get all sad thinking the kids won’t be able to say good-bye to each other before they leave the area. Who knows if anyone is leaving the area. Everyone is going to go to Cornell from their living room. OK. Enough of this. I’ll wrap up Vince’s college application process later.

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