Growing up and growing silly.

Once you get this old – like as old as I am, nothing surprises me anymore. Like literally nothing. People will be like…I’m going to tell you something that is completely shocking or embarrassing or terrible or whatever, and when I hear it, I’m like, yeah, that sounds about right – it’s all about money, hurt feelings and grief – there is really nothing else. How does one keep going? Really, you have to keep going.

I’ve been indulging Vince. He’s been doing so well and he asks, really, for very little. He’s never been one to clamor for new electronics, new clothes, fancy trips or stunning cars that other people might have that he wants. And now, he’s really on his own, never asks for money, calls me all the time, I just want to squeeeeee with happiness. One of my favorite teenage stories is this eavesdropping story I had at the gas station when Vince was a teen (so now 10 years ago), a mom with her teenage son were standing next to each other filling up the tank for a fine-looking minivan and the mom kind of mumbled how expensive gas was and her kid – half yelling, half exasperated was like – MOM! We need to buy a TESLA! I hear other people’s children put an entire powerpoint slide for Christmas desires. Vince is often happy to delay his holiday requests and birthday requests until a need arises. Vince recently moved into a new-to-him grad housing which was unfurnished and I bought him a new IKEA couch and coffee table for his grad student apartment. He called this weekend from his couch, lying on it in great comfort and he said – now the couch-sized hole in my heart is filled. Thank you mom.

He’s so grown up! And yet, I have regressed by buying on ebay Thomas the Tank engine toys. Here I am happily housing the trains in the roundhouse and the mine (Jeremy is like – wtf about the mine? you know we don’t like mines.) hahaha. Of course, of all the things I brought to the babysitting gig, no one really played with my beloved trains. OF COURSE! of course.

Jeremy was in Kansas City last week as soon as he got home, he was like, I think I need to go to California next week (meaning this week). So he’s gone this morning. We had been planning to drive to Ohio this weekend to see friends, but, in retrospect, I’m very happy that that did not happen. I’m so busy and frustrated at work (my real job), the church stuff (my fake job and now I’m really getting into the underbelly of it all) and trying to get better from this cold and relearning how to exercise. It’s not perfect, but it’s manageable.