I was having lunch yesterday with a friend who, in their mid-60s, just got diagnosed with autism. Now, I’m all for self discovery, but when you get to your mid 60s, does it help to label it? Dunno. And then I was trying to tell Jeremy that I’m autistic because 1. I love routine, 2. I don’t like small talk, 3. I’ve always felt different, 4. I have repetitive foot movements (I like to knead my feet when I’m falling asleep), 5. I don’t like crowds and Jeremy was like…you are not autistic. And I laughed, and I said, yes, I know I’m not autistic.
And then Ginny said – you have inattentive ADHD. And I was like, what’s that? And Jeremy was like – absolutely not. Inattentive ADHD means a person has: trouble paying attention to details, is easily distracted, finds it hard to manage time or finish tasks, forgets to do routine chores. I absolutely do not have inattentive ADHD, Jeremy is right and Ginny is wrong. But Ginny could not be persuaded. She was like…you always need to be doing something, that’s why it’s ADHD. It’s true, I always want to be doing something, but I usually almost always do it to completion. I complete lots of tasks which makes me….deadly efficient and a machine at times. Which generally equals not fun. I’m not very good at having fun.
One of the joys of getting older is focusing that energy to doing things I wouldn’t dream of doing as a kid – to just do things for fun and curiosity. It’s hard to remember that it’s fun and not turn it into a “job” which is what I struggle with a lot, exercise, baking, guitar, volunteering – such a gift to pursue these interests and it is so much fun. It’s extra fun when someone else is interested too.
Sometimes I can not believe I am here, so lucky to be living the life I have, go grateful for the opportunities and my enjoyment of exploring things as I go watching people I love do their thing, figure out the way, watching myself do the same.