Not crying at parties.

Well today we were invited to another Chinese New Year party – this time for a noontime steamboat lunch. This was given by the couple who came over in November with their 2 children about Vince and Edda’s age when it became obviously apparent to me that Edda was falling fast off of the normal development curve. Edda and I bailed on the party, Edda because she didn’t sleep very well last night and me because I thought I had done enough crying at parties recently. Jeremy and Vince went, Jeremy wasn’t much up for it because he spent most of the night up last night with Edda, but I felt bad that we’ve been cancelling things at the last minute with these people and I knew Vince would have a fabulous time.

Well Vince did have a fabulous time, but Jeremy ended up pretty emotional when he got home. There were 2 kids younger than Edda at the party and the contrast between her abilities and theirs was striking and Jeremy spend a lot of the afternoon and early evening in tears and sad. It’s nice that we usually aren’t too sad at the same time but it takes a lot of energy both to be sad and to help the other person not be too sad.

Well, perhaps we’ll find a therapist soon for both me and Jeremy, either seperately or together. I love therapy. And we’ll take Donald’s suggestion of a support group seriously too, although I don’t know if they have such things here though.

9 thoughts on “Not crying at parties.”

  1. Well, I think it is much easier “to say” than “to do” it. Should keep yourselves well enough first before Edda can be taken care of properly.

    Need anything from both of us, just let us know.

  2. ha,

    It is all right to cry bit. Any help you need, just let us know. As I said that every family has some problem and we have to save all energy to help Edda. Let us know if any thing we can do to help.

    When you will be back to USA? Middle of March or end of March? Did you have all the test results yet?

  3. D & J- I’m sorry these last few weeks have been so tough. Finding out your child is special goes in stages. It will get easier. I promise. Marion Winik’s copied a famous book by Elizabeth Kubler Ross when she describes the stages of finding out your child has lice for the first time, “Stage 1 Denial – Not MY Child!! to Stage Five, after weeks of cleaning every sheet and pillow in the house. Finally you just give up and have an illustrious bonfire with all your linens. You are at Stage Five. Acceptance- “Oh great another trip to the drugstore for more lice shampoo and combs with teeny tiny teeth. Oh well what should we have for dinner”. Your situation reminds me of a story I read once. I’m paraphrasing so bear with me and it is a bit sappy but it still fits. Just look at Edda as the vacation you were going to take to the Carribean. Pina Colodas on the beach, sand, surf. Beautiful sunsets. But wait the airline changed your reservation and your plane is headed to Ireland. Your already on the plane. You can’t get off now. What awaits you in Ireland? Well, try equally beautiful beaches, amazing sunsets, great beer. An awesome ocean. It just isn’t the place you thought you’d be traveling to. It’s just different from the original trip you thought you were taking. Thing is you may find you like Ireland a lot more than the Carribean. Love to you both. Sheila

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