Whenever things get rough, my favorite thing to do is to find a walk-in closet and camp out there with my down comforter for a few hours. In high school when I was stressed out about a boy or about a test or getting into college, I use to do this late at night with a book while the rest of the house was asleep. When I lived in Austin, there was a wonderful walk-in closet that was exactly the length of my body and I could hang out there and ignore the rest of the world. In Singapore, there are no walk-in closets in my house which I think is a good thing because it makes me resist my depressive tendencies. These days, I’m trying very hard not to spiral out of control emotionally (I don’t want to end up on medication and I don’t think I’ll need to, at least not today) and I’m pretty proud of myself, I’ve been in a good mood all weekend and we’ve been having a lot of fun. I don’t like going to sleep very much at night because I know as soon as I’m asleep, tomorrow will be here and I’m not really sure if I can deal with whatever tomorrow might bring. And when I wake up every morning, I have to give myself a pretty firm pep talk (Doris, it’s going to be a great day, try not to ruin it for everybody else – I usually have to say this to myself a few times – I’m never fully conviced, but I usually try to trick myself into believing it) and usually, it’s a pretty good day. Hooray for Doris!
Once a while, one will get depressed. That is pretty normal. But, everyone has his/her own way to get out of it. I find out that humors and talk to close ones are pretty good to release some of the pressure. Exercise is very effective to re-charge and re-plenish. E
veryone has problems with no exception. Out going personality will help and it can be developed.
Keep busy is another way to forget everything. Worry and fear are two bad things that one should try to avoid. The famuos sentence said by President Roosevelt was “The biggest fear is fear itself”.
I understand the it is not easy to be a mother, especially recent discoveries about Edda. We all love Edda and try to help. But I really don’t know what to say without disturbances but still think Edda will be OK. However, I may postpone my retirement a bit later if Edda needs help. Life itself is a challenge. Take it to the driver’s seat. It is my suggestion that you may set some kind of goals, such as to pass the PE test as you suggested sometimes ago. If babbysitting is needed that should not be a problem. If staying at home and avoiding all problems every one has to face, it would not be a helpful way.
Love you always. And looking forward to seeing you all soon.
Mom