5. – Just regular folks.

Donald,

I like your LIKE and DISLIKE. Here are some of my comments.

Most people are stubborn. The good side of stubbornness is you will reach your goal if you set a reachable one. Stubborn persons are hard working people. The bad side of the stubbornness is stubborn person does not give self a backup plan and stuck with it if it does not work and the goal is not a realistic one. To set a realistic goal is based on individual conditions such as education; talents; age; physical conditions etc.

For example, if I set a goal to be a basket player right now. It is unrealistic one at my retirement age. It is impossible to play basketball game at age 65. However, if I set a goal to play basketball for 10 minutes every day, it is achievable. If I set this goal as a basketball player at age 16, it might be a realistic goal. Even, if I were basketball player at young age, I could not be a player right now due to my age anyway. The fact is everyone is getting old fast. If you do not do it at your young age, it is very difficult to do it at old age.

I chose engineer to be my career. Some time, engineering is a so-so and boring profession. However, engineering is an office job and steady job too. It helped me to have reasonably good life. It helped me to support my family and me. It helped me to educate my kids. The bad side is I have to go to office every day with few days of vacation. However, look at general population, everyone has to work to support self and family. There is no free lunch. Those famous people make lots of money but they work very hard. Say famous musicians or NBA players. Musician has to go to stage to play piano or other instruments even he/she is sick since the tickets are sold out. Hundreds of people are waiting and coming to the theater. NBA players may fair better, since there would be substitutes. However, engineers can call sick and rest for a day or two at home.
Although the work is still piling there waiting for you, I can work more when I am okay and feel better.

I still think I did not take MIT teaching job was a right decision. I do not think I am a very smart person. There are so many genius and I have to work very hard to catch up. If I were single, I might take the job. If I spent more time at work, I should be able to make it. Nevertheless, realistically speaking I am a married woman does not want to spend all my time on study, research, publish papers, etc. and would like to give fair share of my time to my family.

There is another example in Lee’s family that stubbornness really hurt, in my opinion. A Daddy’s cousin came to USA from China in 1980 in her late 20’s. She finished her computer studies with a MS degree. Every Lees helped her (as a matter of fact give loans to her) to pay her tuition and other expenses. It was not easy with her limited English. Her stubbiness helped her to go through her education. After graduation, she was very lucky; the computer business was taking off in 80’s. She worked for two yeas with HP to pay off her loans and bought a car. However, she did not like the 8 hrs office work and would like to do clothing business. Therefore, she quit her regular job and moved to NY to do her “hobby”- she likes sawing. She designed few clothes and tried to make money for her living. Since she was not major in fashion design, and she did not have a team to work together, its future in clothing business had its limited and it was not bright. About 6 month later her savings were gone and she still think her talents were in fashion design, so she borrowed some capitals to buy more materials and took an educational trip to Italy and so on. She worked very hard at her dream profession to sow her dream clothes. She did not have time and money to do the marketing for her and she did not have any costumers. At this time, she did not realize that it is a dead end for her. She toke a job at sweet shop to make more clothes to support herself. On other hand, she was still sticking to her dream business. Therefore, she borrowed more capitals to continue. The outcome did not going to be good. Around 2000, Daddy offered her to move into our Sheets Farm home and would provide her with a car and asked her to go back to computer. That time Daddy was an IT manager and could find her a position easily. However, she did not take the offer. Right now, she stayed in a public housing and works at a department store. Hope she is happy. In fact, we have not had any contacted for many years since then. I heard those bits and pieces from Aunt Magnet.

The other thing about feel superior to others is Okay for one’s own feeling. In fact, every one has his/her better points in certain areas compared to others. On the other hand, every one has his/her weak points as well. Ironically, one’s strong points are his/her weak ones also. One coin has two sides. If you feeling superior to others, it were be okay to keep your feeling yourself, it would hurt others if you show it. Most of people cannot hide his/her feelings and other would realize it, especially the closed ones.

The Buddha told us that “superiority is inferiority and inferiority is superiority”. “Advantage is disadvantage” and “disadvantage is advantage”. Although I am not Buddhist, I like its philosophy. In fact, all religions are teaching people to treat all people equal. No one is superior or is inferior. However, the sad fact in general right now, is the rich ones are cheating the poor ones and educated ones are cheating the uneducated ones.

I think I belong to the highly educated group and not too bad financially. Nevertheless, from bottom of my heart, I never want to cheat or take advantage (direct ones; I am not sure about indirect ones) uneducated and poor ones. Most existing laws are for rich and educated ones. However, I have no power to change laws directly. All I can do is I go to the poll every time to choose the lawmakers. In addition, I can do alone is to save our environments for generations to come. My idea to save environments is to use less. Use car less, keep temperature down in winter and high in summer, don’t waste any food and time, be productive, and save energy including my own energy. It is easy to say but hard to do. People often like to have two standards: one for themself and one for others.

Based on my observation, personal characters mostly are passed from genes. However, environments play big part also. For example, one of my cousins in Beijing is very fat. However, his son and his grandson both are not fat at all. Furthermore, my aunt and uncle (his parents) are very thin. The fact is that he has good jobs and eats too much. His parents are poor and living in countryside and, therefore, eat less.

Another example is that most companies in China do not like to hire those people from one-child family. They do not know how to work with other, no communication skills and with me-alone-and-me-first attitude. It is a problem. People here think this problem is due to the environment. Kids in one child family do not have enough playmates and everything is ready made for him/her. Therefore, those kids take everything for granted. Their parents are not like them though they carry same genes. In China, all the laborers are from countryside. They have the incentive to work hard to improve their life and put their kids through higher education. Just for Guangzhou, all the taxi drivers are from countryside. So are the maids.

2 thoughts on “5.”

Doris says:

March 7, 2007 at 11:56 pm

From your Dad side, there are a lot of good genes. But, mingling around with those good genes, there is a killer gene that needs to be controlled first.

That was why I always emphasized that we stayed cool, and didn’t get mad too often. Nobody is superior, but being a commoner is golden.

This thought wasn’t born out of nowhere. but its existence lives together with many of my failures. Some of them were huge, of course.

There are still a lot of time ahead of any one, young and old. So, keep working on it and, eventually, good genes will prevail.

Doris says:

March 9, 2007 at 11:48 am

Donald,

I like your LIKE and DISLIKE. Here are some of my comments.

Most people are stubborn. The good side of stubbornness is you will reach your goal if you set a reachable one. Stubborn persons are hard working people. The bad side of the stubbornness is stubborn person does not give self a backup plan and stuck with it if it does not work and the goal is not a realistic one. To set a realistic goal is based on individual conditions such as education; talents; age; physical conditions etc.

For example, if I set a goal to be a basket player right now. It is unrealistic one at my retirement age. It is impossible to play basketball game at age 65. However, if I set a goal to play basketball for 10 minutes every day, it is achievable. If I set this goal as a basketball player at age 16, it might be a realistic goal. Even, if I were basketball player at young age, I could not be a player right now due to my age anyway. The fact is everyone is getting old fast. If you do not do it at your young age, it is very difficult to do it at old age.

I chose engineer to be my career. Some time, engineering is a so-so and boring profession. However, engineering is an office job and steady job too. It helped me to have reasonably good life. It helped me to support my family and me. It helped me to educate my kids. The bad side is I have to go to office every day with few days of vacation. However, look at general population, everyone has to work to support self and family. There is no free lunch. Those famous people make lots of money but they work very hard. Say famous musicians or NBA players. Musician has to go to stage to play piano or other instruments even he/she is sick since the tickets are sold out. Hundreds of people are waiting and coming to the theater. NBA players may fair better, since there would be substitutes. However, engineers can call sick and rest for a day or two at home.
Although the work is still piling there waiting for you, I can work more when I am okay and feel better.

I still think I did not take MIT teaching job was a right decision. I do not think I am a very smart person. There are so many genius and I have to work very hard to catch up. If I were single, I might take the job. If I spent more time at work, I should be able to make it. Nevertheless, realistically speaking I am a married woman does not want to spend all my time on study, research, publish papers, etc. and would like to give fair share of my time to my family.

There is another example in Lee’s family that stubbornness really hurt, in my opinion. A Daddy’s cousin came to USA from China in 1980 in her late 20’s. She finished her computer studies with a MS degree. Every Lees helped her (as a matter of fact give loans to her) to pay her tuition and other expenses. It was not easy with her limited English. Her stubbiness helped her to go through her education. After graduation, she was very lucky; the computer business was taking off in 80’s. She worked for two yeas with HP to pay off her loans and bought a car. However, she did not like the 8 hrs office work and would like to do clothing business. Therefore, she quit her regular job and moved to NY to do her “hobby”- she likes sawing. She designed few clothes and tried to make money for her living. Since she was not major in fashion design, and she did not have a team to work together, its future in clothing business had its limited and it was not bright. About 6 month later her savings were gone and she still think her talents were in fashion design, so she borrowed some capitals to buy more materials and took an educational trip to Italy and so on. She worked very hard at her dream profession to sow her dream clothes. She did not have time and money to do the marketing for her and she did not have any costumers. At this time, she did not realize that it is a dead end for her. She toke a job at sweet shop to make more clothes to support herself. On other hand, she was still sticking to her dream business. Therefore, she borrowed more capitals to continue. The outcome did not going to be good. Around 2000, Daddy offered her to move into our Sheets Farm home and would provide her with a car and asked her to go back to computer. That time Daddy was an IT manager and could find her a position easily. However, she did not take the offer. Right now, she stayed in a public housing and works at a department store. Hope she is happy. In fact, we have not had any contacted for many years since then. I heard those bits and pieces from Aunt Magnet.

The other thing about feel superior to others is Okay for one’s own feeling. In fact, every one has his/her better points in certain areas compared to others. On the other hand, every one has his/her weak points as well. Ironically, one’s strong points are his/her weak ones also. One coin has two sides. If you feeling superior to others, it were be okay to keep your feeling yourself, it would hurt others if you show it. Most of people cannot hide his/her feelings and other would realize it, especially the closed ones.

The Buddha told us that “superiority is inferiority and inferiority is superiority”. “Advantage is disadvantage” and “disadvantage is advantage”. Although I am not Buddhist, I like its philosophy. In fact, all religions are teaching people to treat all people equal. No one is superior or is inferior. However, the sad fact in general right now, is the rich ones are cheating the poor ones and educated ones are cheating the uneducated ones.

I think I belong to the highly educated group and not too bad financially. Nevertheless, from bottom of my heart, I never want to cheat or take advantage (direct ones; I am not sure about indirect ones) uneducated and poor ones. Most existing laws are for rich and educated ones. However, I have no power to change laws directly. All I can do is I go to the poll every time to choose the lawmakers. In addition, I can do alone is to save our environments for generations to come. My idea to save environments is to use less. Use car less, keep temperature down in winter and high in summer, don’t waste any food and time, be productive, and save energy including my own energy. It is easy to say but hard to do. People often like to have two standards: one for themself and one for others.

Based on my observation, personal characters mostly are passed from genes. However, environments play big part also. For example, one of my cousins in Beijing is very fat. However, his son and his grandson both are not fat at all. Furthermore, my aunt and uncle (his parents) are very thin. The fact is that he has good jobs and eats too much. His parents are poor and living in countryside and, therefore, eat less.

Another example is that most companies in China do not like to hire those people from one-child family. They do not know how to work with other, no communication skills and with me-alone-and-me-first attitude. It is a problem. People here think this problem is due to the environment. Kids in one child family do not have enough playmates and everything is ready made for him/her. Therefore, those kids take everything for granted. Their parents are not like them though they carry same genes. In China, all the laborers are from countryside. They have the incentive to work hard to improve their life and put their kids through higher education. Just for Guangzhou, all the taxi drivers are from countryside. So are the maids.

2 thoughts on “5.”

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