Jeremy is officially unemployed today. So he went and applied for unemployment and his grumpiness over having to do this permeated the morning household atmosphere. Sigh.

I feel like I’ve been in a little blog-rut lately – lots of pictures of the kids, not so much about anything else. There are lots of things going on behind-the-blog-scene. Long, heart-wrenching talks about the future, what-if scenarios, budgeting, negotiating, compromising and apologizing. There is also laughing, joking and luxuriating in a bit of a break from regular life and enjoy our time with each other. I don’t like to complain, because, really – I have many, many things to give thanks for, but I don’t like job hunting because it feeds into my insecurities of identity and self-worth.

11 thoughts on “Unemployed.”

  1. Doris, the securities are built on only if you have the securities. Work is no fun but it will help you grow and build your confidence and security. Everyone has to work and support the family. Go for it. Do not try to avoid it. It can not be avoided anyway. After few years, you are getting use to the work. The great fear is the fear itself. President Roosevelt said it. It is much hard if you have to work at old age. Right now, my memory is getting bad. My eyes do not work well and goes on.

  2. Sympathetically, I know how Jeremy and you feel! Both Mom and Dad have had that before. Hopefully, he is feeling better and both of you can move on courageously with the loving and care from all of us, including those from Martins.

    In a few words, to get laid-off is part of real life that one needs to get through and grows out of it.

    Insecurity sometimes is always there and is good. At least, I have had it all the time. Or, one would not survive. To lessen this feeling, “head-on” approach is probably a better approach than to avoid the problem all together. “Problems” are just like “shadows”, it will follow one all the time. No way, one can avoid them. But, to learn how to solve them, it will then become easier and easier to handle. This way, one would gain experience and enjoy it when problem is solved and going away as it should.

    Just think why someone else can get through all the problems. And why not me? Comparing to any one, a lot of other people definitely have more problems and are in worse shape than ever. Under those circumstances, they have few obvious choices but they have to survive and they will.

    When I lost my job first time many, many years ago, Mom and Dad had only $3,000 in the bank and that probably could only support our family (with Doris & no Donald at that time) no more than 6 months. With few options, I just hopped on one “donkey” that was there despite all the disliking that I had – low pay, long hours, no OT pay, too much hassles, to far away, etc. But it provided me with means and time to look for a “horse”.

    Even today, I am not sure that I have ever had on a “horse” in my whole life. But, with all these many years on a “donkey”, I am sure I will be able to get where I want to go, no matter how awkward, slow and un-comfortable on the donkey’s back.

    For the following part, no kids in the world like to hear. Their Mom and Dad are definitely not as well-equiped as they all are, but, they do have a lot of sweats and tears that are willing to share. It just may help. Who knows?

  3. Yeah I know how that is, I’m job searching now and it sucks! I faxed my resume to three places yesterday…hopefully I’ll hear something soon…

  4. hatti, Only three! When I get laid off after 22 years service, I wrote at least three hundreds applications or letters. Three months later, I landed a better job. Keep going and you will find one. Good luck.

  5. When I graduated from Aerospace back in 1970s, I had mailed at least 600+ letters with no single reply for interview. Aerospace was at its lowest point during that period.

    Jobless, one Sunday, early in the morning, I drove to a park nearby with my wife. Did not know what to do exactly. I saw a guy pulled up, stopped, and read his newspape inside his car. I told my wife that we should stick around a bit longer. With her sharp instinct, my wife knew exactly what I meant and started talking to me casually.

    About 15 minutes later, sure enough, that guy dumped his paper into a trash can and left. Excited, I went to the trash can right away and picked up the newspaper. Every sections was there except the Classified Section in which all job positions were posted.

    I felt very sorry for that guy. And in the meantime, felt very pity for myself because, at least, he could afford to buy a 25-cent Sunday newspaper and I couldn’t.

    Today, I still vividly remember all this. I wish that guy could find a job just like me. Yes, I did find job a month later. My first job paid me just about 2/3 of the average salary of engineers with Master Degree. I did it with enthusiasm for 2 years. Looking back, absolutely no complaint about my first job. It paid me little but did provide me with some working experience to grow upon.

    The main driving force at that time was obvious. I needed to do something to provide food, clothing, shelter for me and my family. My wife, as a graduate student, could not support all of us with her scholarship. I needed to do something desparately.

    To look differently, work is no fun, always has a boss going to different directions than you wish. Even, partying all the time, is no fun. Life is always a struggle, a challenge, a place with all problems stubbornly sticked and refused to just go away. And yet it can be pretty rewarding and be pround of.

    The above is just one of those many instances that I had. There are many more… Some of them were even worse.

    Well, as encouragement :), life without problems is a pretty dull life. Isn’t it?

  6. Doris,

    I don’t think there is much worse for self esteem than looking for a new job.

    We all have feelings of insecurity, especially when we send out resume after resume with no response. Keep your chin up.

    Drop me a note sometime. I am not sure I know what your and Jeremy’s fields are.

  7. Yess only three lol. There aren’t many jobs here and not having my degree yet is very unhelpful! I’m still looking for more to apply to, but honestly it’s slim pickings.

  8. Hatti,

    Degree is required these days. My parents paid me throgh college and my kids have their degrees too. Degree does make difference at market place. Get a student loan and finish your degree. Or take evening classes. Go for it.

  9. I feel your pain. I finished grad school in May 2004, and didn’t get a job until September. Then I got laid off of that one a little more than a year later, and it took me 7 months to find another one. Now I’m in my 3rd temporaray position in the past year. The instability and contstant rejection definitely wear on you, and I can only imagine how much worse it is when it’s BOTH of you. But you guys have a strong relationship, and I know you’ll get through it!!

Leave a Reply