Birds and bees.

About a week ago, we were all in the car going somewhere really exciting (like Target), when Vince pipes up and asks, “What’s a hooker?”  As a parent, one wants your child to ask you all sorts of questions like, “What is Avogadro’s number?”, “Do you think there will be peace in the Middle East?”, and “What do you think of the Oxford comma?”, one often doesn’t think about answering questions about hookers (isn’t that what friends are for? really.).

But not wanting to embarrass him or to squash his curiosity, we told him a hooker is a person who sells sex for money to which he answers “huh.”  Jeremy steps out of the car to pick-up Chinese food (not at the Target, but maybe on the way home from Target) and I ask if Vince knows what sex is.  He answers in the affirmative.  I am not surprised but I do not really believe that he knows what sex is.  So I proceed to launch into a very clinical, but concise description of what sex is (basically the 30 second version) and I get the expected “ewwwwwww…… gross…..  STOP TALKING ABOUT IT, please!”  Edda remains unperturbed.  By the time Jeremy is back in the car with the Kung Pao chicken, the birds and the bees talk is all over.

Fast forward to tonight, we are watching Dirty Jobs, which is our favorite family night TV show (because it is the only thing we can agree on from the 10,000 things available on Netflix) and we are watching an episode about pig farming.  (It really reminds me that we should all become vegetarian).  Part of the pig farming farming episode is about artificial insemination.  It’s pretty graphic (except that the pigs do not actually have any sex) and there are still unanswered questions like – “Is that pee?”  Ummm, the answer to that would be NO.  Vince had to hide behind the couch until the whole thing was done.

Yeah – it’s exciting around here.


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