I realized that I needed to change the profile picture of me in gmail today. I’ve had my old profile picture for 13 years now and I was reluctant to change it. It was a photo of me (though you couldn’t tell it was me really) from a far distance that showed me suspended in air jumping into our condo’s pool in Singapore. I was in a swimsuit, all my limbs were extended so you could see the X shape and I was laughing as I hovered for a moment above the water in the pool. We must have just begun to know something was wrong with Edda and that photo of me represented the time between the time of before and the time of after. And it showed that I could laugh whether I choose to plunge into a cold pool or I chose to plunge into the unknown of parenting Edda. I suspect a lot of people have that singular moment of before/after – it’s different for everyone – but that photo commemorated my particular moment. But I changed it all to the photo above today. So boring! My selfie, decidedly after and still mostly happy. Though I have my moments. And I’m in general constant terror of more before/after moments which are bound to happen to me.
Last night, Jeremy looked at me and said – “Tomorrow is Christmas!” And I said – huh? Jeremy’s been tracking his bike all the way from CA and it was scheduled to be delivered today. He looked at me all expectantly and said – I want to take the entire day off and wait for it and then put it together! But he did not stay home and wait for it. He asked – you going to be home all day? I generally am home most of the day, but I don’t make it a point to be at home all day, but today I made sure I was home all day and even taped a big sign to the door saying – I’m HOME! Don’t leave with the big box. Thank you!! So all the delivery men rang the doorbell and waited and eagerly asked – is this your big box? Funnily, we had about 5 deliveries today which included many big boxes which unexcitedly included 4 bags of dog food and 8 packages of diapers and finally a 4 pm, the long awaited box came. I helped the FedEx guy lift the box into the house & he said, don’t worry, it’s not that heavy and I laughed and thought to myself – Jeremy paid extra to just to make it not that heavy.
Jeremy is not going to have time to take the bike out of the box for a little while. We will just have to wait and see.