- I’m low conflict.
- I will do laundry.
- I cook mediocrely.
- I will bleach anyone’s hair.
- Jeremy complained that I left the refrigerator door opened too long yesterday. Instead of being annoyed (which I was), I replied, I realize that is a reasonable request. I will try to do it in the future.
- I am quiet.
- I will defer to you in video choices.
- Though I will also offer up suggestions when no one has any which will be turned down promptly.
- I will FaceTime your family members.
- I will FaceTime my family members.
- I tiptoe through the house not making much noise.
- I will not talk about the pandemic if you don’t want to. I will talk about the pandemic if you want to.
- I, incredibly, have two steady jobs.
- I will support people with my two steady jobs that no longer have steady jobs.
- I will not freak out.
- I will not make you do anything.
- I will maintain a semblance of a schedule.
- I make Dutch Babies.
- I will attempt to do TikTok dances to amuse everyone.
- I can cut hair.
- Sometimes I open the window in my home office so I can hear the three kids next door screaming on their trampoline.
- I watch deer outside my window.
- I refuse to buy extra snacks to keep in the house.
- I do not yell.
- I do not curse.
- Maybe I’m boring? Do you want a boring roommate? Maybe not.
- I will spend a long time making face masks.
- I will spend too long reading an MIT listserv list in utter disbelief that even smart-on-paper people are idiots.
- I like to go scrounging in the pantry to use up old ingredients.
- I like to find things and repurpose them.
- I don’t drink coffee, so there is more for you.
- I would love for you to talk as long as you’d like, if you’d take no offense to me falling asleep to your voice.
- I have a lot of sweatshirts you can borrow.
- I am needy only once a day. That is the frequency at which I will ask – are you sure you still like me?
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