A terrible week. Just terrible. I try to ignore the news because it’s just so bad for keeping myself on an even keel. I’m sleeping more (I find myself tucked into bed midday or for hours on a weekend after a long bath which, as a stand-alone behavior, might fall under the auspices of “self-care”, but for me, these behaviors are a tell that I’m not doing well), I’m reading more self-help books (also a tell) which have veered from “regular” self-help books into reading “The Myth of Sisyphus”. Gah. I need to stop. I need to start getting up again at 6am at first alarm. I started reading a Lee Child book – easy to read and the bad guys get it in the end. Always. (the last time I went through all his books was the year Edda was diagnosed in Singapore. Thank goodness he’s a super prolific writer and there are 10,000 of essentially the same book out there). It doesn’t really help that I can sense some (many) friends sliding from their moorings too. My closest confidants seem well and listen to me. Mostly Jeremy seems well and that is a big help. On Wed night, he started a sentence – something like – I’m still optimistic that… I’m glad one of us can be optimistic! I need to reframe and regroup – while the administration will turn over soon, the pandemic will not be over soon.
I did get my first dose of vaccine on Monday. My arm hurt and I felt pretty run down for a couple of days. This did give me some selfish happiness and relief. I hope the distribution can pick up soon.
If any of my readers would like to help Molly out, the family would appreciate it. Molly is one of Edda’s rett syndrome sisters here in DC. She’s been in the PICU since mid-December. It’s been tough for all of them.
Jeremy and I are trying to find conversation topics that are far, far away from the news. Last night we spoke about oatmeal and the surrounding insta-pot conundrum for at least 20 minutes. Jeremy and I get along really well, we hardly ever fight, but it’s hard to think about light/happy/interesting/funny topics these days. There are only so many shuffling videos/oatmeal conversations/youtube discoveries, etc that you can go through. But! But!
Look at emmymade! My friend Vickey found her on her feed and said that she really reminded her of me. Vickey did make me laugh because she said – the way she dresses reminds me of you and her mannerisms are just like you! And her hair is what your hair would be if you cared at all about your hair. Jeremy didn’t see the resemblance and was confused, but Vince said immediately, oh yeah! I know her and she is just like you. I’m actually honored, I like emmymade. Let me know what you think. (sherah! I know I said that everyone is using an induction plate, but she’s not! she’s using a gas burner. lol. oh well. shows what I know).