I picked Edda up early from after care and we left the house at 4 pm to take Vince to Dulles for his 7 pm flight to Sacramento. We picked a cheap, late flight because Vince, as per usual, flipped his schedule upside down last week – though he did cheerfully make every dinner with us, which was what was agreed to when I knew he’d flip his schedule.
We brought Charlotte the dog with us because her mom lives close to Dulles and is back from vacation so we were going to do the dog exchange at the cell lot there. Charlotte seems to love cars, so was very excited to be going on a trip.
He considered this look “emo” – though to me, it looks very college kid. The doc martens, the blue hair. He said he thought he packed 180 pounds of luggage – no fees, it all got on the plane. We dropped him off at the curb, anticipating a flight to Chicago, a tight layover, a flight to Sac, an Uber ride to campus with late check in at the Hyatt on campus.
He humored me with a selfie.
We drove to the cell lot to reunite Charlotte with Vickey and wait for Vince to check in and clear security. With both missions complete, we drove back to Maryland. On the way home, Jeremy complimented me and said – you and Vince didn’t fight all summer! I know it wasn’t easy for you. I replied – actually, it was easier than I thought it would be, I was proud of him for working all summer at a job that was a lot of work and he cared a lot about it. The fighting is mostly my fault. Vince is a good kid with a good head on his shoulders and many talents. Though he does almost everything differently than I would do them. He likes things fluid, last minute, and is generally not afraid of failing and trying again. I’m the opposite – more rigid, prepared and want to get things right the first time. And, because I’m me, I think the way that I do things is the best way. So the fighting results from trying to urge him to do the things he’s doing my way instead of his way. But Jeremy reminds me, you have to see him as one of your patients or your best friend’s kid – if you wouldn’t say it to them, you shouldn’t say it to Vince. This is a hard thing for me. It’s not that I don’t tell my patients to change their lives, I do. The alcoholic who comes in for the 4th time in 6 months to detox and he tells me that he really wants to quit for his girls and I tell him he can do it, just keep trying even if you fail, just keep going. Or the patient who gets plastic surgery in a hotel room and ends up with an infection, I try to suggest that maybe that wasn’t a wise decision and, while there the nothing wrong with plastic surgery, maybe saving $ a paying at a reputable place would have been a better approach. And as for my friend’s kids, these days I just relish in their accomplishments and their thoughtfulness / kindness and can see them work through complicated stuff with grace that goes beyond their years. Which is all the same things I see in Vince. He made all his connections and made it to the hotel. May the force be with him. May the force be with all of us.