Growing old(er).

I caught Edda’s cold, so I’m feeling sorry for myself. Some crying and moping, but I know it’s cold motivated. But things are fine. I’ve been watching TV/movies with Sandra Oh in them recently – because I watched the Chair a while ago on Netflix and someone mentioned (again) that I resemble her in both looks and some mannerisms. When people who aren’t Asian say this, I think it’s because they can’t differentiate between Asians. But some Asian-ish people have said this recently to me and I perked up – how could I not want to be compared with Sandra Oh? Honestly, one of the coolest actresses around. Though I asked a Korean friend of mine (Sandra Oh is Korean and I’m not) and she said – you are absolutely not like Sandra Oh. lololol.

I’ve watched Grey’s Anatomy, the Chair, and this week I watched Sideways for the first time. And this morning, I turned on a show for Edda while getting her ready for school and Sandra was in Ramona and Beezus. What the heck? I wasn’t expecting that. I do want to watch Killing Eve, but not enough to pay for the streaming service it’s on. (I recently unsubscribed from Netflix because I’m trying to reduce TV watching (or at least reduce the choice I have on TV watching. So many things to watch! I want my choices limited down so I don’t spend too much time thinking about what to watch), so we only have Amazon Prime and youtube now).

The most interesting thing, I think, about Sandra Oh (for me) is that she is pretty much my age and through her work, I can think to myself, ahh, this is how I’m aging. She looked old in the Chair. I don’t mean elderly, I just mean well into the middle of middle age. I mean, what did I think was going to happen?

I also watched the new Cinderella on Amazon with Edda (I liked it!) and Minnie Driver does the same thing for me in terms of seeing myself getting old. Oh, how I loved Good Will Hunting (which I know some people just don’t) and remember Minnie frozen as a college senior, but Minnie is playing the queen in Cinderella and well, 50 looks good on her, but still she’s 50.

Jeremy update: he rode through the beautiful forests in California. This is where I want my ashes to be scattered – well near there – I would prefer not right by the road but I would be OK with that if Edda wanted to be there. In the forests of Big Basin where Jeremy and I spent time falling in love with each other and where my ashes can be incorporated into the roots and trunks and soaring limbs of the trees around me and I will have many tree friends to help me buffer me from various trouble until storms break us, or fires engulf us, pests/disease consume us or earthquakes move us and my timescale will be on the order of centuries/millennia/aeons and I can witness many, many deaths and in turn, rebirths.

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