I often think I should do more things “for fun” – like going to plays, or sports outings or concerts or cherry blossom viewings or whatever. I think I don’t really know how to have fun or anticipate having fun. Like – I almost never “look forward” to something even if it’s a spring break vacation in Miami or (which is suppose to happen!!) seeing a beloved friend or eating a delicious cake. My mind always slides to the hassle, the potential fights, or the extra pounds. So to remedy this tendency, I get on a kick of signing up for random things and trying them out in the name of learning to have fun. I am literally like the only person who wants to practice having fun. Yesterday, I took a croissant baking class because I wanted to learn to laminate butter and dough. I went on my own and we worked in teams of 4 (there were three teams) and we managed these chocolate croissants. Not bad, right? We had to rush some of the rises and such things – it’s really suppose to take 2-3 days to make a croissant.
And a set of morning buns (though I’d call them cinnamon buns).
I enjoyed the class and the lamination isn’t that hard once you take the time and know the goals of not melting the butter. But I had had an argument with Jeremy early in the am (the first since going on the medication) so I wasn’t in the most pleasant mood during the class. The class itself was fine and enjoyable, and maybe on a different day, I would have enjoyed the company, but this time, it was a bit of a sugar slog of French baking small talk. Haha. But I brought all of my treats home and we had them over a pleasant dinner – trying to work through the argument we had in the morning over some chocolate. My mood is still much better than it was at the beginning of the year – though not quite back to my old self, but maybe we’d be good with some couples therapy. It’s a lot of stuff to get used to post pandemic – working together all the time, Vince off at school, Edda’s school ending, etc.
“you got to slow down, my friend. Love will get you there. If you hold on, my friend love will get you there.” I forget who sings those lines, but whenever I hear them, I feel like they’re for me. I made a pact with myself to listen to a song by a woman named Mary Gauthier every day for a year. The song is called Mercy Now. She sings it and Boy George also sings it. I had to do some thing because I was getting so upset and angry at Cheeto head when he was in charge. I don’t know if it will help you but music for me has always been the place I must go to to get over humps in my life. Music is the one thing that humans have done right. Maybe it’s time for some Meghan Trainor and some dancing in the living room, just know how much you’re loved dear Doris. You and Edda and Vince and Jeremy have a big fan club.
PS I know it isn’t your cuppa tea probably but if I lived, where you do I would be at the Baltimore Museum of art looking at the John Waters collection. That’s Gotta make you laugh. He is such a freak but a good Freakazoid.