I have fallen out of the habit of daily or almost daily posting/blogging. This is not satisfying to me. The time, then, just slips through my fingers. I forget what I’ve been doing all week and then it all disappears like smoke in the breeze. I will try to do better, that it what I say about all things, but most times it all ebbs & flows without much direction from me.
I went to Philly on Tues for a quick back and forth to see my friend Vidya. He’s being discharged home soon which will be nice (to be home! to see his daughter everyday!) and crazy daunting. I’m not sure how to help them, a lot of the help that is needed is physical which I am happy and perfectly capable of doing, but I’m his friend and not his caregiver and there is a difference. I remember when Edda was small and I was running around trying to cram a million hours of therapy practice outside of her formal therapy sessions driving myself insane and someone told me – you are her mother and not her therapist and that was really helpful to me.
I think I have a lead for a part-time flexible nursing job that will just slide into our family life without too much trouble. It’s not ambitious, it’s poorly paid, but it’ll bridge my resume until Vince goes to college. It does work with the geriatric population and it is with a small-family owned company and it’ll segue nicely into palliative care/hospice which is something I can do in a few years. I won’t have to go part time at my regular job and I get to keep all my night time habits like sleeping and all my weekend habits like watching Netflix. I hate being a new grad, all hospitals have “new grad” programs that start only twice a year, involve extra classes and projects, I don’t want to do any of that. Really, all I need is 4-6 weeks of training to do the job and then I can do it. I lament that I’ve “given up” on any ambitious career (in both engineering (running engineering teams at 3M) and nursing (pediatric heart transplants)!). I would have said that I’ve disappointed my parents in the previous decades, but now I think I’m just, in my mind, not living up to some sort of mythical feminist standard of what was expected from my trajectory in my 20s. Anyways, this is good enough. For now.
Happy Chinese New Year! We celebrated last night with family at the Far East restaurant.
We had peking duck which was extra delicious.
I want to tell you that Edda had the most fabulous time at dinner. She laughed and laughed and had two Peking duck wraps and loved the fish and the dumplings. It was a lovely evening.