So it’s New Year’s Eve eve. I guess I should round up the year now. I’m grateful I made it through the fall and the college application process though to my chagrin, I wasn’t able to pull through with absolute grace and/or complete composure. There were a few months there in the middle there where I thought I had absolutely ruined my relationship with Vince. Lots of crying and bad feelings on both our parts. I give great thanks to Jeremy who did a lot of the hard work which mostly was coaxing the writing of the essays and being OK with a good enough essay. Somehow I can give grace to many things now that I wouldn’t have let go before, but there are still things that remain to work on. I give a lot of thanks for Vincent who seems to not hold grudges and will forgive his mother for her bad mothering moments.
I’m thankful for reaching the first peak of my little side-gig nursing job. When I started working on this dream a decade ago, my goal was to get a day shift job PRN at a hospital within reasonable commuting from the house. I didn’t matter which hospital or which specialty, I wanted a short commute, days only and controlling the days that I worked. And, though it took me 10 years, I’m where I said I wanted to be. I’ve earned back the money I spent on tuition which was another goal of mine since I know I love school so much more than I love working, I was a little worried that I wouldn’t follow through with an actual nursing job. I’m grateful to have a first job which allowed me have the flexibility to learn a whole separate skill and to fully perform it. I’m happy to have found a medical unit which has the most stable nursing staff in the hospital (this is indicative of a manager that everyone loves), where coworkers are happy to see me come into work and where I feel everyday that I do good, useful work. The work is the most challenging thing I have ever done. (I would say that it is unsustainable and needs to have union representation before we all die from exhaustion (both the staff and the patients waiting for help to go to the bathroom)). I have this idea that I’ll keep this job through Vince’s college years, I do like being able to say – I worked two jobs to send you to college because it is true, I’ll take the 2nd half income to help pay for the big college bill. And then I’ll be too old/tired to keep going.
Thankful for Edda’s healthy year and for Edda’s Medicaid waiver eligibility and for all the caregivers that are like family. Thankful that she has such nice programs for her to spend her days. For the staff’s continued optimism and hope of improvement and progress for communication and skills when I can get mired in thinking of stagnating or going backwards. Some of my happiest days this year was when I took some saved money and gave it to Edda’s school program to help them run their community outings better (to buy donuts at Krispy Kreme) and to see Edda go to homecoming!
For Jeremy, who does so much for me everyday. I can not believe how he picked me out of all the people he could have picked from. For my nursing gig, he cancelled business travel for a full year – this is a guy who probably travels a week every month to six weeks during a regular year. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll get to support him in his next gig which hopefully will come to fruition with the next election.