Mother’s Day.

I’m not the most natural of mothers. If I had to have a list of identifiers, the word “mom” would not be the first. But granted, I have issues with identity struggling with labels such as “Asian” or “female” because so often now, when I read things about the motherhood, Asian or female experience, I often don’t quite agree. I have my own wonderful and personal experiences which don’t often fit neatly or align with these stories that I read. Anyways, Mother’s Day is two days past which is, I guess, enough time to say thank you to my children. They are my greatest teachers and my loveliest loves. I am lucky to have you in my life. I always try to think about how you want to be mothered and blend it with how I want to mother and to try to err on the side of giving you both the freedom to be your own selves. Because, I think, you can only learn really by doing and trying and figuring it out yourself. And you both show me the way in my own life, to be the best I can be, to honor and show up for the people I love and care about. I try! I fail! But I try again. As Steve sings on Blue’s Clues and has been out family motto since circa 2005 – if something goes wrong, don’t give up, just go on! (We have literally watched this particular Blue’s Clues video every day since the fall of 2005. One of our favorites.)

Vince FaceTimed on Mother’s Day and gave me a card via Instagram stories. He missed his second vaccine appointment last Friday by oversleeping and was profoundly regretful and apologetic (I might have done the slap face emoji as I was trying to text encouragingly but not too desperately when I was noticing his little tracking icon unmoving in his dorm past the appointment time) because we all talked about it on Thursday and had booked a zipcar and everything, but he did make it to the rescheduled Monday appointment. Really, a wonderful (and perhaps the best) mother’s day gift. I’m glad I am his favorite mom, he is, of course, my favorite son. I always hope I’m doing right by you, Vincie. Lots of love and hugs and can’t wait until you are home. <3

Edda (and Jeremy) got me a pair of sound cancelling headphones (earbuds) which I will use to drown out the sound of my treadmill as I run. I’m looking forward to that because I think I can turn down the music when the background sound is cancelled, thereby saving my hearing a bit. The first thing my new headphones did was to do a hearing test to optimize my sound profile.

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