Tommorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tommorow..

Tomorrow Edda goes back to school! Hooray for me!

We had Mathilda and Julia over today. Four hours of insane playdate. Vince and Mathilda had a great time.

Edda did well also, following the kids around, being close to them and being interested. She also was a bit agitated. There were screaming sessions, but I think no one was too freaked out or anything.

Grandpa is gone.

Edda was a bit distraught this morning. We couldn’t figure it out for a little while, but then it dawned on us that she was looking for her beloved grandpa. She had gotten used to him getting her up in the morning and now he was no where to be found! Poor sweetie…

It was strange to wake up without Dad. I had gotten used to having him in the house again.

We booked a taxi for Dad – he insisted that we shouldn’t wake up, but Jeremy did hear the door close at 4:50 am and he woke up and ran to say good-bye, but Dad had already gone off in his taxi.

Duck tour!

In Singapore, they have this military amphibious vehicle that was used in the Vietnam War which they have converted into a tourist attraction. It’s been painted to look like a duck because it can go on land like a car and then drive into the water and float and steer like a boat. So today was Duck tour day!

Well Vince was so distraught after watching the safety video (abandon the duck! abandon the duck!) that he demanded a life jacket (“I need the thing that will protect me!!” he wailed) and clung to me for dear life. Edda wanted a nap, so she screamed much of the time. Dad seemed to enjoy it as he was sitting far away from the distressed kids and close to the tour guide who answered all his questions. You know dad, he loves to ask questions. Find a stranger and he will figure out a question to ask them…


This evening, we had a potluck at Julia’s house to say goodbye to the Bodes. We got there at 7 pm sharp and it looked like we wouldn’t make it until 7:30 pm, but somehow we pulled it off and stayed until 9:30. Jeremy made a kick ass salad..


Dad is leaving tomorrow morning at 5 am. It’s been great having him around helping with the kids.

Mom! He washed the dishes every night!

I love you!
I love you too!
I love you three!
I love you eight!
I love you a million!
I love you a million plus 1!

Well … ,

Well, three weeks are almost over. I have had a great time here in Singapore. I have enjoyed a lot with Jeremy, Doris, Vince, Edda and Ruby. I am leaving tomorrow morning and hope to see them again, soon.

Playing with Edda for the past three weeks, I realize how much tough & hard work are ahead for us as a family but, as an optimist, Edda will do her best. She is a brave girl.

Love you all 🙂

Pulling teeth.

What is it about dentists? Jeremy hates dentists. He thinks they are in some complex dental x-ray conspiracy and he has brainwashed me into thinking that dentists are evil people. They seem really nice when you sit down in the chair, but then they give you bad news and make you feel lame about not flossing after every meal and then they head into your mouth with drills and picks.

My dentist in New York was so cool and so smart. She had her office decorated with all modern furniture (I’m sure all flea market finds, tastefully matched but funky too). She played eclectic music over her sound system and had nice retro art prints hanging on the wall. I never knew a dentist could be so cool.

She also went frequently to dental conferences where she could learn about the newest techniques in dentistry and she loved to go and hang with the other cool dentists. But she still didn’t hold back the bad news that my crown needed replacing and it would run, oh, about $1000. Yikes! And then she headed in with her drills and picks.

But this dental story isn’t about me, it’s about Edda. Edda loves to grind her teeth. Lately it’s gotten pretty bad, you can hear her do it every 5 seconds and you can hear it clear across the room. It’s sounds really, really bad.

I also noticed one of her molars had this brownish crap in the little crevice which I was dreading was a cavity.

So what do I do with the fact that I feared a cavity in a 2 year-old’s mouth? I promptly got 4 recommendations of dentists and then didn’t call any of them! For months! I finally made Jeremy call. I’m such a big chicken.

We finally went today to see the dentist. He was very nice – looked about 20 and had a huge collection of Coke cans in his office. (Strange, huh? A dentist collecting sugary drinks… Hmmmm…)

Final verdict: No cavities. Nothing much to do about the grinding. We got shooed home in about 10 minutes and didn’t get charged for the visit.



It’s been 6 months since we had a doctor tell us that our daughter was mentally retarded. What a long six months it has been. We’ve been to the Children’s Hospital here in Singapore countless times, we’ve been back to the US to see specialists there, we’ve looked at schools and therapies for Edda. We considered moving back to the states, we’ve been confused by different doctors and missing test results. How quickly the six months has passed as well.

Many people have talked to me about grief and crying. I have found myself crying many times in the past 6 months, most often in the middle of the night when the house is quiet and everthing is dark. It is then I don’t have shrug my fears aside and the magnitude of Edda’s disabilities sometimes overwhelms me.

Since my dad has been here, I’ve left Edda at home a few times so I could visit friends with Vince. My dad is great with Edda, in the afternoons, she needs to nap and eat frequently. I hate to admit it, the visits were easy with just Vince to manage. Vince does have his own issues (don’t think he is an angel every moment), but Edda is unpredictable with her moods and awkward in strange places and when she is pissed, it is often hard to console her or figure out what she wants. Each time I left Edda behind, Vince asked why she wasn’t coming. I felt bad for leaving her behind. I know in the future, our family will be splitting up trips and activities. This is almost what pains me the most, that we can’t do absolutely everything that I thought we would be able to do together, but perhaps this is an unattainable fantasy for even completely non-disabled families.

Vince and Mathilda playing. Where’s Edda? Not around.