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On Wed night, before we left for Houston, we were awaken by our fire alarms firing randomly throughout the house. And they continued to misfire during our entire weekend away even though we were trying to troubleshoot before we left for vacation. Now that we have smart speakers in the house, we’d get a notification that a fire alarm was going off and they did go off every few hours. And then we’d check the cameras to make sure that the house wasn’t engulfed in flames. I think they are misfiring because (as the internet tells us) do go off when it’s very cold outside. But! Also! These fire alarms are from 2006! We’ve never replaced them! So we are in the process of replacing them all.

Also, Jeremy’s blog has gotten nice traction – including this nice write up on twitter. Jeremy spent the weekend watching the numbers on his blog go up and up and broke 1,000 while we were in Houston. Jeremy was *giddy*. One thousand view is as viral as these things go, so Jeremy is super famous in his field now :). So happy for him!

This weekend was a quick trip to Houston to see our old au pair Keyla who lived with us in 2015. I went to her wedding in the spring of 2021 in Denver and now they’ve relocated to Houston with two kids!

We had a snowstorm on Thursday night which closed schools on Friday – I was almost certain our Friday morning flight would be cancelled or horribly delayed, but neither happened. We left a little delayed because we needed to be de-iced, but made up enough time for most folks to make their connections in Houston.

Keyla’s youngest daughter, Zoe, is 8 months old and they found out around September that she has this. Zoe was hospitalized for two months while they were figuring out the diagnosis and trying to stabilize her. She came home early December with a ventilator and all the accessories needed for her care. I had talked to Keyla a number of times briefly during the hospitalization and I was heartbroken and worried about her and her family; I wanted to lay my own eyes on the family and the baby.

And I found a very happy and content baby – growing and smiling and learning. Keyla and Mark don’t have a lot of family around, but they do have nursing care for 16 hours of the day which helps a lot, but it’s still a lot a lot. Keyla is amazing and calm and such a good mom.

I got to hold all the babies! I read to Zoe and I painted faces and played Peppa Pig with Lucy.

Jeremy and Edda both came also and it was, actually, a very nice break for all of us. Jeremy cooked dinner both nights and also helped fix plumbing issues. This pipe was overflowing with water and had flooded the backyard. I turned off the water, but had never seen this type of structure before. Jeremy and Mark used the internet to figure out what it was, how to fix it, order the part for delivery and within 12 hours of discovering the leak, it was fixed.

It was cold, cold, cold and that is why the plumbing was broken, it froze and burst. We managed to go to a park on Sunday morning and then head to the airport, where our flight, again was delayed, but not cancelled and we made it back home by 9 pm.

Two snow days here. About 4-5 inches of snow and school has been cancelled. Elka got some good (local walks) in and we watched the kids in the neighborhood go sledding.

So nice to see the snow, I know it’s a hassle, but it’s also a gift – as these things always are. I thought we’d never see snow again in the DC metro area.

Check out Jeremy’s blog! He’s very excited and spent a very long time working on it.

Spent yesterday morning at the horse place. I got to: feed the horses, lead horses from the pasture into their stalls, I got to groom horses (including asking nicely for the horses to give me their hooves so I could clean them), and then I got to muck the stalls. They gave me older and the most docile of horses and still, they often refused to give me their foot. Oh well. This horse: Yuzu, thought her face was itchy and used the entire front of my body as a scratching post rubbing her face up and down and up and down my body. That seemed fun but weird too. I find dogs much more appealing than horses, but maybe I can learn to like horses.

There were lots of volunteers there. The staff are mostly young women (including like 4 Sarahs), but the volunteers were mostly older men. They showed me around the property and where to put things. After the shift was over, at about noon, I sat in the volunteer lounge where there were others gathering for lunch. I packed a lunch because I knew I’d want to eat before I drove 40 minutes home. It was wonderful. Outside, physical labor, nice people, always some work to do – no complaints and now the Wed morning crew is expecting me back. I’m not appropriately dressed, I need overalls and some waterproof muck boots, but you need to volunteer at least 20 hours before they print you up a name tag, so I’ll finish that before I buy any new gear.

Last Saturday, we went to what I think is our last Eagle Scout ceremony. Jeremy took a whole bunch of boys to Philmont in the summer of 2017 and they are growing up and becoming Eagle scouts. I do get a little bit emotional letting this stuff go. The little boys are so little now! Like tiny. It’s hard being the parent of only adults now.

Jeremy always looks forward to the traditional sheet cake. It’s the highlight of his evening. And this was a particularly good sheet cake.

Edda started vocalizing at the beginning of the service and I thought she would “talk” throughout the service, but she did not. I started a random cough also at the beginning of the service, and I thought I would have to excuse myself from the room, but I managed to stop coughing as well. Kids! They don’t keep!

Jeremy spent most of the weekend working. So much so that yesterday he forgot to eat lunch. He has so many meetings during the week that the only time he can formulate and work on complicated things – aka deep work is on the weekends.

He comes to me at 4:00 pm and says – I’m so excited! This is a good paper! Let me talk to you about it. And then he tells me about his exciting thing and it’s really too complicated for me to follow (intricate agriculture world-wide supply involving multiple governments, import/export laws/customs, livestock (mooooo…) and palm/soy oil supply their environmental impacts in the various places they are grown). When I tease him, I tell him that he’s an expert on cow poop. But, really, I think he’s saving the world one tiny, complicated policy at a time which, honestly, still makes me swoon. The world is a complicated place and, though I may be clever in some ways, I’m a simple person with simple ideas. Jeremy loves complexity and loves working with balancing competing interests and thank goodness there is someone like him out there thinking of very complicated, very boring things that have huge impacts on what we eat, what we use, how we live and what we are going to give our children. <3

Yesterday, Dani and Vincent left for the West Coast (flight delayed a full day because of….who knows what. We went to the airport Friday and it was the best we could do – a Saturday mid-day flight). Bob and Katherine flew in from Europe Friday night and left very early Saturday morning even without any of us waking as they were on Europe time and wanted to get home quickly. A benefit of the delayed Sacramento flight was that Kiki and Kappa got to meet Dani which we thought would not happen this holiday season.

I’m spending the weekend putting the house back together, moving my work computer back into its office, beds back in their regular spaces, air mattresses deflated, Christmas decor put away, linens washed, bills paid, trash trashed etc.

With the death of Pip and our week-long illness with Covid and I, also, unfortunately, got yelled at unexpectedly and at length, so it was not such a great holiday week. We were joyful meeting Dani, for sure, the highlight of the vacation and are very glad that that happened.

The two of them, Vince and Dani, did get to spend three days and two nights in NYC which was Vince’s Christmas gift. They took the Chinatown bus there and back, stayed at the POD hotel and did so many things – the Met, MOMA, tacos, pizza, bagels, Broadway (the Book of Mormon), Rockefeller center, Grand Central Station, the vessel, the high line, ramen and the subway. It was sunny, but cold and they had a nice time. It’s a joy to hear them talk about their trip . I think it was also Vince’s first time “hosting” travel where it was his idea, he has a friend who has never been and wanted to show them a good time. He had to figure out the itinerary and execute the plan. It’s not an easy thing to do, as I know from all the times we’ve ever traveled, there is bound to be some grumpiness. They learned their way around the city, figured out the subway. I told them that if they were completely frustrated and/or lost, just take an UBER back to the hotel, but they managed fine on public transit and didn’t get lost, much.

I’m officially scared of Christmas now. The past 4 have had 2 or 3 depending on how you count of the following characteristics: 1) the pandemic, 2) death, 3) illness and 4) lots of crying. Let’s try to have a holiday season with fewer of these things. Sending love out there!

It was a rough start to the new year because we had to put Pip (Bob and Katherine’s dog) down at about 9 am on New Year’s Day. Pip had been staying with us through the holiday as B & K were traveling to Sweden to see Ben et al and we knew he had some health issues at the beginning of the visit. He was having some diarrhea and a cough which was due to his long standing heart issues. But despite these issues, Pip seemed very peppy. Eager to eat, excited to play “the game” (where we hide a piece of meat (usually from our dinner) somewhere in the house and put the doggies in a sit-stay and then we release them and they nose around until they find their treasure), happy to go on walks and sleeping comfortably. We got the diarrhea cleared up with some Flagyl, but the coughing got steadily worse waking us all up in the middle of the night, but he’d go back to sleep curled up at our feet and so would we. But it got concerning enough to take him to the local vet for a chest x-ray (clear) and another course of antibiotics. But as the days passed, we could hear Pip’s breathing become more labored and the cough getting worse and sometimes he wouldn’t eat, but then other times he’d eat happily and seemed perky and agile and so we shrugged and played the game and went on walks. Until New Years day at about 8 am when Pip, unsurprisingly, did not want to eat his breakfast and then went Jeremy went to him (while he was calmly sleeping on a dining room chair) to nudge him awake to try to eat again, Pip could not get up and was unsteady seemed about to fall off the chair and then we brought him to the living room where it was clear he was in acute distress. Jeremy took him to the emergency vet where they saw fluid all around his heart and thought it might be a tear in his heart. B and K were phoned in Europe and a sad consensus reached. Jeremy was home by 10:30 and cried and cried. Our dogs, our pets, we love so much and are so sad when they are gone.

My fondest memories of Pip are of Pip and Elka when Elka was still a puppy and wanted to play all the time and Pip was game. I’d never seen Pip play before and he was already a tiny, old man with a weak heart, but he played and played with Elka – our ferocious half pit bull puppy – flipping his body and baring his teeth and standing his ground. I am alpha to you! Grrrrrrr!!!!

Happy new year’s eve. Time to look back and think forward:

Spiritual Goals:

This past year, I’ve been working hard on letting go of things which is what I think I work on every year. I find that gripping tightly to things causes anxiety and undo stress. There are things about my relationships with my children and my parents (friends less so, but not not included) that I’m constantly working on – for example, Edda’s future for which emails and phone calls are starting to ramp up, to soften the anxiousness I feel about school ending and her possible future living situation. I’m also trying to support myself better, to calm my inner critic and doomsayer, which is easier said than done. This year, I started Effexor which was a good thing and I remain on it at year’s end, but I’m always looking towards getting off of it. As examples of the calmness I want to have is always my husband who steady temperament and general optimist guides me in difficult times and for just pure joy of day to day living, I look to Elka and Edda who both live in the moment and are generally both Buddha-like and are gracious for the here and now and for the feeling of possibilities and curiosity, I turn to Vince who is beginning his adult life and full of these things. My family helps me grow spiritually always. I recommit to putting my phone away while I’m at the house, and in the new year, I’m looking forward to bringing music and more of the outdoors into my life which always has a spiritual aspect.

Financial goals:

We are only one final quarter away from finishing Vince’s college payments and then, theoretically, he will be financially independent of us and he is eagerly willing to be so – we’ve already discussed – this is the last cell phone I’m buying you – not so many more sneakers I’m purchasing, lol. So, there needs to be a rejiggering of our financial picture. We spent the last year or so putting together a will, a special needs trust for Edda and those are in place. They will need to be revised once Vince is on his own and Edda is on her own (in a way). All the guardianship paperwork/social security stuff for Edda is done. I took a week long course offered my my workplace about retirement planning (this was offered through my HR department and they do this for mid-career gov’t workers) this past year and realized that things are more complicated than I want to take on and with Edda’s special circumstances, I feel like I need a professional on my side, so this is the year I’m going to start working with a financial planner and get things in order. I mean, things are in order, but I want a more clearer understanding and some advice on Edda’s situation. Jeremy is, honestly, a good financial partner in the sense that he trusts me, pays no attention, doesn’t recklessly spend money and makes a good salary, but he’s no good when I’m like – How much Roth? How much regular? How much in Edda’s trust? International fund? He shrugs and smiles and kisses me and says – I trust you, you are doing a good job. Gooo Doris! And then I smile and I’m no closer to my answer. I’m also working on loosening the tightening feeling I have with money – my scarcity mindset where I never have enough, it’s never enough. But honestly, it’s enough, and I’m working on being more generous money wise. We have friends who are retiring, so we think about this as well. When is a good time financially?

Career goals:

This is tricky. I gave up nursing about a year ago and I’m unclear if I’m going to go back. I’m keeping up the licensing, and for a brief moment this year, I thought I’d go back and work for the state or the county doing community nursing – either at a jail for for homebound citizens (I have a friend who travels to people’s houses to give flu and covid vaccines, this seems like a useful thing to do) – part time and that is still an interest of mine, but I feel like I’ve not yet really overcome the burnout I had working through the pandemic. I did start another position at the patent office this year which has been a mixed bag of sorts – I’m meeting other people which has been fun, but the work itself is rather unsatisfying. But the pilot program got extended for another year, and I decided that I’m staying on another year. So for this year, I maintain the status quo and continue thinking about this. I feel like I have one more block of professional thing to do before I retire. It might be to become a manager at the patent office, I’ve never managed people, so it might be something I need to do before I retire.

Intellectual goals:

Hmmm? I guess to stay off my phone. My enjoyment of learning guitar has increased in the past month or so, yesterday I practiced for an hour! I remain curious to what life brings to me. I’m not going to learn another language or try to become a youtube influencer or anything.

Health/Wellness goals:

I think I did pretty OK this year. It was a low-key exercise year where I had a lifting coach for the first half of the year and then a running coach the 2nd half of the year. I’m getting weaker and slower as I age (which can be frustrating, but I turn back to letting go), but, for the most part my body felt good and strong. I worked hard, but didn’t exhaust myself or hurt myself (very much, lol.). I did gain some weight this year which made my pants tight – mostly on our vacation where I ate ice cream everyday for five weeks and it didn’t come off easily once I stopped eating the daily ice cream, so for the last six or eight weeks of the year, I really focused on eating more fruits and veggies and fewer carbs and gradually, very slowly, the weight has started going back to where it was before.

Family goals:

Jeremy and I and Edda are still getting used to being the three of us, even though Vince is almost done with college. These changes are slow to adjust to. We are learning to travel more, just the three of us (our epic 6-week vacation was glorious), or maybe just the two of us (party in NYC). We are very much homebodies and love being at home and with each other, but we can all turn inward a little too much. So more exploring for us in the way we enjoy exploring. We are slowly repairing/decluttering/decorating the house because we have more time. I’m finding some joy in cleaning up the house. I don’t need a totally decorated house, but I like one that is functional not not very crowded. I’m pleased with what happened last year as a family and look forward to more of the same this year.

Social goals:

This past year saw a big social upheaval in my life in which a decades long friendship ended which I did not see coming. So heartbroken from that, I am slowly regrouping and trying to figure things out. This Christmas, I did feel like I have a good group of friends/family who love and support me, but alas, there is some sadness mixed in all that too. So I’m on the lookout for something social, I’m not sure what, but I’m working on it and hopefully, slowly, it will come to me.