So many colors! Eggs, avocado, beans, beets, spinach and then I put a bit of balsamic dressing on it. I’m trying to dial down the fat and carbs and put more beans and greens into my diet. I’m not a huge fan of beans, Jeremy makes fun of me because he eats a lot of beans and has for years and many people who have dinner at our house are a big fan of his beans, but I don’t like them very much and have always avoided eating Jeremy’s beans. But he only makes black beans and I’ve been trying different kinds of beans (mostly canned though I want to buy some dry heirloom beans and try to understand how to use the instapot). Just experimenting and seeing how it goes.
So, Edda, like most teenagers, has suffered from acne and it comes and goes with her monthly cycle as per normal. I don’t think much of it as I don’t think it bothers her too much and I know it will go away as she ages. I know that teenagers now generally take Accutane to clear their skin, but I didn’t want to (or it really didn’t occur to me) to put Edda on Accutane because 1) she didn’t seem to mind her pimples and 2) I hate giving her more medication. Everything you put into yourself is asking your kidneys and liver to filter out more stuff which is why I also dislike medications for myself and I also dislike supplements. If I decide that I want more vitamin C or more magnesium or calcium, I try to take it in food form. But I’m not against medication, I’ll take it if I need to. I take my antidepressants regularly. I’m anticipating taking high blood pressure medication in the future and I’ll take that when I need to (I measure my blood pressure every morning and I’m watching it slowly go up over the years as I creep into middle-agedom). I’m hoping to outrun it (literally), but I’m not sure how much longer I can be ahead of my genetics.
Anyways, I bring this up because I’ve had two medical professionals (neurologist and dentist) kind of gesture to her forehead and say – so what’s up with this? And I’m like what do you mean what’s up with this? It’s regular teenage acne and they look at me like I’m a crazy person. Like teenage acne shouldn’t exist anymore in the land of regular suburbia. I also want to say that if Edda was a typical teenager and was bothered by her teenage acne, I would not deny her access to Accutane – I would take her to the dermatologist and follow through with their recommendation. But I also would imagine that she wouldn’t be on two types on anticonvulsants and have trouble drinking enough water to help her kidneys process all that through her system.
We went downtown via the metro yesterday to sign a bunch of legal paperwork that I’ve been working on for more than 2 years. Mainly because I don’t want to deal with it. I could have had it done in 3-4 months, but I dragged my feet. Honestly, it took so long that I was worried that my lawyer would up and leave her firm and I would not be able to find her again (she reassured me that she had no intention of leaving the firm and if she did, she would send me a letter/email telling me and that I could choose to follow her or remain with the firm) I hired a crack legal team – I paid $4000 for her services – and learned a lot from the process. Most notably, I learned to set up a special needs trust – which I did (that took like a year, because it was a whole ‘nuther rigamarole) – and now I can die a peaceful death knowing that the world will go on exactly as I have planned. Or not. I won’t care because I’ll be dead and the world will surely go on without me. My lawyer also coached me regarding beneficiaries and various tax implications and various whatnots which I promptly forget or remember enough until they change the rules again and then I’m confused.
I understand now that everything involves practice. The first time is terrible, but then, you practice and it gets easier. Is it ever perfect? No. Is my will absolutely perfect? Probably not. But I’ll try again in 3-5 years and I’ll have been introduced to it before and it will grow from there.
It was the first time that I met the lawyer face to face and I like her very much. Funny and matter of fact, she’s like – if you have a question, call me! I won’t charge you for that. Jeremy brought up Bleak House which I thought they wouldn’t get the reference to, but apparently, he said – oh, yes, everyone got the reference except you. And I’m not the slowest person, apparently there is one client who has not signed his paperwork in over 9 years. Nine! And the lawyer’s husband, to her great exasperation, not signed his either. Lol.
Jeremy, who really didn’t do any of the paperwork for this, did coach me through the entire process. I would freeze imagining all of us dying on a plane and he would calm me down, hug me and tell me that I’m doing a great job and to not think to hard about it and keep going. This is the story of my life, I’m anxious to always do A+ work, but really, life really goes well doing B- work. They don’t teach you that in school.
To celebrate the B- work of the will, Jeremy noted that the attorney’s office was right next door to Rasika, one of our favorite downtown Indian place and we impulsively went into the restaurant and ordered way too many dishes and somehow seemed, also, to get an entire free fish entree as well. I celebrated the will, Jeremy is celebrating a very nice time at work, he’s doing so well and I’m so pleased for him and we rejoice over chic samosas.
Another blog from Jeremy! He’s very excited. There was a nice reaction thread on BlueSky (a twitter replacement), but I can’t log in to show you because I need an invite? Hmmm, let see what twitter is saying…OK, I can’t figure out twitter either. Sigh. I really can’t be on social media at all because it just sucks my time away from me AND it makes me feel bad and jealous. Why can’t I have fancy vacations and beautiful hair and make beautiful birthday cakes and homeschool seven children at the same time ? Social media is a world without poop or stubborn stains or the inability to log into your banking website because they have an old phone number to authenticate and you no longer have that phone #, but you can’t log in to change it. It’s as if everyone can do everything all the time in 70 degree sunshine near a beach with no wrinkles and you don’t ever have to carry groceries in from the car while your child screams from the car seat.
I’m easily influenced in many ways, but…I’ve always thought of myself as a judge of character based on behavior and not on appearance, but I think that is not true either. So, I’ve had a Peloton treadmill since the fall of 2020 when we really started working out in our home gym in earnest. I (surprisingly to myself) enjoy the programming and do all sorts of workouts on it, running, walking, strength, yoga and meditation are all on my rotation. There are many instructors that I enjoy (I happily call them my “fake friends”) and a few I do not prefer. I don’t follow them on social media because I generally like them less when I did that (it’s so weird that sometimes I find a friend (real, not my Peloton fake friends) completely annoying on social media, but perfectly fine in person – like absolutely charming and personable). So there is this instructor, Rebecca, who I generally didn’t like – I found her a little off putting and awkward or whatever. I mean, not in a terrible way, but since I had like 35 instructors to pick from, I wouldn’t pick her. But then about a year ago, she got some slight plastic surgery – most notably teeth veneers so her canines were not as pronounced and pointy and then, lo and behold, I enjoy her classes a lot more. I was ashamed to admit this to myself, because, you know, it’s a superficial thing and I’d like to think that I’m not swayed in this way, but I’ve spend a few months now going through her classes pre and post veneer and it’s terribly true, I enjoy her classes much more post veneer than pre veneer. Ugh ugh ugh. Though I’d like to think if she was my “real friend” and not my “fake friend”, I would not have cared, but would she ever turned into a real friend if my initial reaction to her was that she was off-putting? Probably not and that hurts my heart.
I went to yoga with my friend Kristen yesterday. It was cold in the studio. brrrr. And then we went out to lunch together. Edda did not have school yesterday – a work day, so thank you Jeremy for managing Edda during the day. After lunch, I turned down an invitation to hang out in her hot tub to head home and manage the pickup and drop off of Edda for her camp, which was open.
Today, I took Elka to the dog park right when it opened and she was the first one there but she did not know she was the first one there and sprinted from the entrance gate into the field and then spun around and looked at me and asked – where are my friends? But no worry, her friends were there in about 5 minutes. She got a good workout in and good socialization.
I went to my church yesterday for the first time in over a decade. It’s the UU church down the street and I still maintain my membership because if I did have to pick a church, it would be this one and generally speaking, I’d like my ashes scattered there (half there and half in Big Basin, that beautiful space where you can really feel god), unless Georgetown Medical School takes my body for Anatomy 101, and if so, I’d like a space in their cemetery which they do offer for bodily donations. It was interesting to see the changes that have happened since the pandemic, it’s now completely set up to have each service broadcast live. You can see there are two large screen flanking the stage and the seats are angled in such a way that the default is looking at the screens – which I did not like very much. Even though I’ve been gone a long time, people did recognize me and say hello and welcomed me back.
I have to say that even though I still give money to this church and generally speaking, I do endorse their philosophies, I have a tough time with any organized religion these days. I much prefer spending my time out in the community living out my true values rather than sitting in church. They say they honor diversity and inclusivity, yet, remains overwhelmingly white and straight – which I don’t feel like exists when I’m out in my local community anywhere else I live my life. But I did feel quite moved by the sermon and I’m happy that I went and participated and saw what was going on.
Also, selfishly, I went because I won an item at their annual online silent auction – this beautiful Zuni (I know, I know) bracelet which was bought in the 70s and never worn. And I, surprisingly, love it very much. The photo on the website was very dark and blurry, and one can never really tell how much one loves jewelry until you wear it and sometimes even then not for a while, but I’m enchanted.
This is Eddie. I’m still not sure if any of the horses like me of if they just tolerate me. Please like me! I like you… i think. please don’t step on my foot or kick me! hahah. It’s been wet and muddy outside and the horses are generally out in the pasture 24/7 except to eat and get groomed, so I spent a lot of time using a curry brush getting caked on mud off of Eddie.
Jeremy’s been downtown a few times this week for meetings. I love having him out of the house because it feels like before times. I do think my efficiency goes up in an empty house. I don’t fault Jeremy at all, he hardly bothers me during the day, but I’m always aware of him in the house, moving around.
Look at these beautiful buildings!
The weather has been crazy here, as it has been all over the country. A week ago, it was so so cold. Yesterday, it hit 80 degrees in DC. I was driving around and had to text Jeremy that “I can’t believe I’m texting you this in January, but I think the AC in the van is broken” which it is and was driving me crazy.
Because of the weird snow/heat wave thing, on Thursday, we had this impenetrable fog all around town.
Friday was the hot day and Jeremy shot this beautiful Capitol shot.
I took Elka to the dog country club where she was very, very happy.
After I decluttered the house, I decided that I needed to put up on the walls everything we’ve collected over the years. First, it’s just to get everything out of storage and onto the walls to see it, I don’t really want anything in “storage”. Second, I watched like 10,000 decorate-with-me videos over Christmas and I was like if these people (mainly women) can put up and take down stuff all over their house seasonally like at Target which is an incredible amount of work, I could at least drive some nails into walls and having things up for the next 15 years. Second, visiting particularly two people this past year: Paul, who remodeled his house between our visits (last time, it was like visiting a dorm room) and like had artwork all over his house *just so* and Keyla, whose kid requires 24 hour care, had like changed out light fixtures and painted rooms and decorated with murals (and I have to also say Sheila, whose house has always been lovingly curated and I’m eagerly waiting to visit their next new house they are working on), so I’m slowly doing stuff.
Like hanging groups of Ikea posters centered above a bed. Normally, I wouldn’t have cared for these Ikea posters I bought on a whim, but my friend Julia likes the artist Sam Toft and told me that the dog in these pictures is named Doris and now I’m charmed. It’s funny how things can grow on you over time.
Also, I struggled with buying frames for all our posters. All these are cheap posters and I can’t really buy the frames used because they are all different sizes and so really need to be specially ordered. This butterfly poster hung above our fireplace for at least 10 years covering the holes for mounting the TV, but it was crookedly hung in a too-large frame with no matting. And I kind of hated it all the time for the last decade, but I decided to buy the frame and now it delights me to no end. Maybe I do like pretty things. (Bad photo, I know).
All the family photos go on the wall against the staircase. So many of when the kids were little and not many from recently. We’ll try to change that.
