Year: 2017

I spent the weekend driving boys in Vince’s scout troop to Great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg, VA.  Scouting is Vince’s big extra-curricular activity and we really don’t help out that much, so I decided that this was the weekend to do it.  We (we meaning Jeremy or I) have had some experiences with this volunteer driving that end up being kind of frustrating – like they say the need, need, need drivers and then when we volunteer to drive.  Then at the last minute boys have dropped out or they get an extra driver and then they don’t really need us as drivers, but we are standing there at the start and we all are kind of expected to go.  It frustrates me to no end that someone could have had their weekend back in Rockville (not necessarily me or Jeremy), so this is what happened at this trip and I started it off all mad.  It did not help that Vince wanted to abandon me and go in another car with his friends who were ditching me to go with a cooler parent, so, possibly, I would be driving hours and hours with no one in my van (I think if I had no one in my van, I just wouldn’t have gone), but Vince grudgingly went along in my van (spent the whole time mad at me for not letting him ride in the hipster van) and I did end up with a couple of scouts in my car.   I think they want the parent volunteers to volunteer because they love the boys and Great Wolf Lodge (GWL is not really my jam, nor are things like Disney or Harry Potter World or Hamilton or anything where the value/money ratio is way out of whack – I might love them in isolation, but the rate of money consumed at any of these things rapidly strips the sheer joy of it from me), but I volunteer so that the trips can happen and other parents can sleep in their own beds.  But in the end, I’m glad I went because 1) I got to see Gina, my quilting coach, 2) I got a leisurely run/long talk in with Charlie, who has been heading the scout troop for 4 years and got to hear about Vince and his pals who are the next ones in line to lead the troop, 3) I got to see the changing dynamics of Vince’s friend group, 4) I got to meet some parents  and 5) Jeremy needed a weekend alone to work (he’s in California this week) – and, I think in the end, I was a necessary driver (kind of, because someone left early with a lighter car load).  In other words, I spent the trip reframing my grumpiness, lol.  Honestly, I spend 80% of my life reframing, turning, I don’t want to be here, I’m mad at this thing, I’m irritated by that thing into, I want to be here, I’m not mad at this thing, I’m totally not irritated by that thing.  I mean, there are things to really be mad, sad/upset, irritated by, but 99% of it all is not worth the emotional energy I could potentially spend on it. 

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Gina, my quilting coach, lives 20 minutes from GWL, so I spent the afternoon with her in her sewing room!  I got to see all her supplies and fancy machines for the first time.  I brought my two finished quilts (one for Vince, one for Edda) and she critiqued them and suggested that I learn to bind my own quilts.

Lovely afternoon sewing.  Gina is such a wonderful resource, even watching her measure and cut fabric is illuminating.  I have had some trouble cutting fabric (which I didn’t even know that I was having trouble) just because one has only two hands or that one is right handed, but when I watched her measure/cut, she used two rulers instead of one which totally eliminated the trouble I was having.  She also taught me to bind my own quilts.  Gina is my good friend Vickey’s mother.  I’ve known Vickey for almost a decade now.  Being work colleagues, we’ve spoken most days out of that last decade, so it’s fun to hear stories of Vickey from her parents.

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Back at Great Wolf Lodge, I gratefully accepted the grown-up room only assignment and chatted with a number of parents.  Sometimes it’s a shock to the system that these people are my contemporaries.  In my head, I think I still look 20.  But this is not true.  I look like I’m 45 and proof is within the faces of parents with children the same age as my own children.  Charlie, the scoutmaster, and I went to a nearby park to run on Sunday where I got the low-down on some group dynamics of the boys within the scouts.  It’s interesting to hear an outside perspective of your own son from a person who has seen him, essentially, grow up. 

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I drove back and forth to Williamsburg, VA this weekend and then today, I turned around and drove to downtown Philly to see my friend Vidya who had that stroke a few months ago.  I had wanted Jeremy to come with me, but our schedules never seemed to match up with adequate child care for Edda and I didn’t want to wait too long between visits.  A trip to Philly takes all day and honestly, it’s easier for me to slip away on a weekday when I have a more extensive and predictable child care/school schedule.  So I went today and I must say I was incredibly relieved and optimistic for Vidya, he just transferred out of ICU into rehab in downtown Philly. You know every once in awhile, you get asked a question, Which would you prefer to live into old age with? – the body of a 30 year old or the mind of a 30 year old?  I always hesitate on that question.  But I think Vidya wouldn’t hesitate and would always, always pick having the mind of a 30 year old.  I think he’ll be able to write about science and philosophy to his heart’s content once he can get the right equipment in place and once all his physical needs can be stabilized (which is still an incredible uphill climb with a long way to the top).  He’s still quite immobile, can’t speak/eat and has some pain issues, but I thought what K. (his wife)  said was true, that he can get a lot of quality of life back even with all these physical limitations and who knows how much physicality can be regained?  There was marked improvement even just from my last trip. I thought I’d only stay at the rehab facility for an hour or two, I ended up staying almost seven hours.  While I was in Philly – Jeremy managed to accidentally leave his wallet at the TSA check-in at BWI on his way to California and Vince sent me an urgent text about some terrible grade on a test and Edda was fine with Adriana’s help who picked her up from aftercare and made her some dinner.  I got home at 8pm.  And we all go on, one (literal and/or metaphorical) foot in front of the other.  Let’s just hope we don’t get in a big fight with North Korea.  That would really f*ck us up in addition to all the things that are already f*cked up.

December, the month of cheer, or as it’s turning out, the month where I try to be cheerful as many thinks out of my control continue to fall apart.  Somehow because it’s suppose to be the happiest time of the year, it really throws all the things that suck way into the deep dark pit of despair / disaster / depression.   Don’t be alarmed, it’s just all the regular stuff here at just regular folks.  We are all doing just fine, chugging along. 

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Ning is helping us out in the mornings for an hour to get Edda up and out of the house.  Edda’s hair looks presentable again. lol.

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Mom made a combination east/west dinner.  French onion soup to begin:

(Edda was really, really happy at dinner).

Pig’s feet to end.

Vince is driving me crazy with his poaching of chargers.  I swear, in this house, charging cords are practically disposable – they disappear so quickly.  I got frustrated enough that I zip tied everything together today.  I hope that they’ll stay put for a little while at least.

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I burned sliced almonds today.  I knew when I put them in the toaster over that I’d have over an 80% chance of burning them.  These are the slightly less burned ones that I salvaged.

Turkey pot pie for tonight’s dinner.

I continue my tradition of finding a thrift store Santa candle and then watching him burn down during the advent.  Vince approves of this tradition.  I always worry the wick won’t last the month.  It is strange after Santa’s face melts and then you are just lighting a santa body.

OK, three more quilting classes to go.  Everyone’s quilt is coming together nicely. 

Here’s mine:

Ack!  The week is getting away from me.  Moira, Lauren and Grace came by for dinner on Sunday.  Katherine bought this cake from Whole Foods: a tarte tropezienne.  I could only think of the British Baking show when I saw this cake.  It’s an odd cake/bread tasty treat.

Grace drew a picture of Max for us.  Max did great all thanksgiving weekend!  I usually crate her up for all large parties because I think she sniffs people’s crotches too much and she begs too much, but this time, I let her attend all the parties and all the guests fawned over her and she only got a little bit of turkey!  (I did crate her up for 60 minutes or so when a particular person I know was there who really is scared of Max, but otherwise, Max roamed around all day/evening.)

To reassert dominance after many days with many different guests in/out/above/below/into/out of his beloved kitchen (everyone is very kind and helps out in the kitchen cleaning up and putting away, but they generally put away in odd places leaving Jeremy a little bit off kilter when he returns and tries to cook again), Jeremy inexplicably started decluttering the kitchen on Sunday morning.

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And to bring the week up to now, Vince played dodge ball at scouts last night and I (oddly) hung out to watch and chatted with a bunch of people who I often dodge (ha ha).  I don’t really dodge them, I’m just usually running back/forth to various activities and don’t stay long in places.

Cindy & family were suppose to arrive at noon on Friday.  Jeremy went out for a ride early that morning and came back at ten and then shooed me out of the house to go to the gym then – I was reluctant to leave because I was feeling both lazy in terms of getting a workout in and also because I thought he needed help pulling together the brunch.  But he assured me that everything would be taken care of at home. So I came home at 11:45 am and the house was super quiet as if no one was home (well Adriana & Edda were home, but they were both screen-timing (very quietly)).  No one was cooking.   I asked Adriana where Jeremy was and she said, uhhh, upstairs?  in the garage?  I was like – we have guests coming in 15 minutes, I thought we’d have an egg frittata 80% complete.  Turns out Jeremy had to go out with his parents and run some errands and came rushing home at 11:50 and said that Cindy texted they would be 30 min late and then we threw together an egg/potato frittata.  Just in time.

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Donald left early this morning (Sunday). 

On Saturday, Jeremy was out riding.  Emy & Seth headed back to NY, Bihan, Kiki and Kappa went into DC.  So I took the Lees out to a late lunch (after Donald went to Tyson’s in the am to help David (my parents’ friend from China) buy a Louis Vuitton bag for a friend.  $1500.  Crazy.  Furiously texting back and forth to China, for a moment, David’s friend wanted two (!) of the same bag and the saleslady apologized and said there were only 16 of those bags in the US and that there might be another one in Baltimore.  Crazy part 2.)  We went to A&Js for beef noodle soup.  I spent Saturday afternoon with Donald – we might have had plans – but we mainly napped on the couches in the living room.

Happy day after thanksgiving!  We had 44 people over for dinner and managed to get 43 of them in this photo.  Jeremy made the turkey and everyone else contributed the sides, we did not vastly overestimate the food as we often do.  There is enough turkey and cranberry sauce for a few turkey sandwiches, but nothing as in some prior years where we might have had a whole extra turkey.  We had a few people who had never been to an American Thanksgiving, I think we showed them a good one.

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Bob, Bihan and I started the day at Freedom Plaza at a 5K.  It was a cold morning, it took the first mile to just unfreeze my toes.

I ran 25:13, which is a personal best for me.  I have good luck with Turkey Trots.  The course was flat which is nice and I think juuust a little short, which is nice too.  8:21 / 8:17 / 8:02 / 6:57 were my splits, just they way I like them. 

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I came home to the beginnings of dinner.  My mother came over with my brother and took a nap on the couch.

She’s in charge of the eggroll appetizer. 

The food line: 

Seating arrangements with rented tables / chairs & plates.

The kids (who amazingly aren’t so little anymore) found Cards Against Humanity which was hilarious (apparently) & they went to the traditional after dinner movie – Coco (which everyone loved).

Today is my mother’s 76th birthday (I mean her 29th birthday.)  We started the day off with a 90 minute yoga class where we learned how to ease into a backbend.  The instructor came over to us and introduced herself to us before the class started and told us that she was planning on working into backbend poses and told us that these poses can release emotion as you press your heart kind of up and out of your chest.  Maybe that is true?  Did I feel extra emotional as I went through the class?  Maybe!  Donald worked in the afternoon.  I took the afternoon off of work to nap and try to sleep off my cold & fortify myself for the next few days.  Although I love hosting Thanksgiving and having a full house, I do know that it takes me extra energy to sustain a higher level of socializing than I am usually used to.  I like to go into it feeling strong and not worn out from our regular schedule.

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At night, we drove into DC to a restaurant called Fig & Olive.  I picked this restaurant mainly because I entered the right number of guests and the night and time I wanted into OpenTable and this was what I thought was an appropriate level of fanciness.  But I never really know if the restaurant will be a hit with my family (we have had duds) because I like to try different restaurants each time and I can’t suss out the vibe of the place no matter how many yelp reviews I read. Because of circumstances, I had to drive me and Vince into DC which is a hard thing for me to do – Google maps took me all over on strange roads because I was driving during rush hour – I get nervous driving places I’m not familiar with (and Vince can be no help – he sometimes teases me about this hangup while I’m driving which really amplifies my anxiety.  But sometimes he puts everything down (meaning his phone) and says – you can do this, mom! – which is helpful as I’m entering Dupont Circle (which is much easier to navigate on foot than in a car)).

My father kept making slightly weird comments about how I looked, but I think that, finally, this was the night where I was a little dressed up and I looked a lot like my younger mother.  I can understand this – if I close my eyes, I can’t really remember what Jeremy looked like when we first met.  Sometimes going backwards on the blog can help, but I can only see Jeremy as he is now.

It was a lovely evening, the restaurant was perfect – not too loud, pretty fancy & relaxed but attentive service.  I didn’t realize it at the time, but it’s in this part of town with the Louis Vuitton store, the Dior store, the Hermes store all within a block of each other.  Not something I look for in a restaurant myself, but can be important to my parents.  My mother was pleased which make me happy.

I did show my bossiness
assertiveness (a trait I know I have, but I try to bury it deep and pretend I’m not bossy at all.  Also, I know I’m not suppose to use the word “bossy” to describe myself because it’s generally used only for women and I’m suppose to use adjectives that are more ambi-gender. I should say I was assertive.  (I just looked up the prefix ambi- and it only means two.  I need more than two genders now, gah.).  I was one of the last ones to arrive & I made everyone get up and switch seats because I wanted to be closer to my mother and I wanted the conversation to flow in a certain way.  Initially, my mother was seated at the head of the table which is the status location, but I wanted her mid-table so more people could talk to her.  I also wanted to split this whole fish with her. 

Happy birthday, mom!

Outside the Louis Vuitton store. 

Seth & Emy arrived while we were at dinner.  Max freaked out and barked her head off as they entered without us with them.  We got them settled into Edda’s room and moved Edda into our room for the weekend.

Donald is here!  And he spent the day working right next to me.  I do wish he lived closer to us, it’s a lot of fun having him here.  I get a co-worker.  Jeremy gets a person to talk about bikes with as much as possible.  I moved my sewing table into our room at the beginning of the day and Donald warned me that he was going to be on the phone all day and he was!  Like 7 conference calls, one right after the other.  I’ve never seen my brother work in this way, maybe I can see him in a new light?

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Today’s adventures took me to Georgetown Cupcakes in Bethesda.  My parents wanted the cupcakes for a friend of theirs and mentioned this last night at dinner.  I told them they didn’t have to drive all the way to Georgetown, rather there was a store close by in Bethesda.  But my Dad didn’t want to pay for parking, and then kind of looked at us for cupcake delivery.   I’m like – Dad! You are the one without the job, all of us are working tomorrow!  But what the hell, of course, he still wanted the cupcakes and didn’t want to pay for parking, so I went there in the morning to pick up a dozen of them (where I did pay for parking myself.   These cupcakes are a lot of trouble.)

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My parents and their friend, David, came by for dinner tonight.  It was taco Tuesday, but on a Monday instead.

Vince kept trying to be done with dinner so we could quickly move onto the cupcakes, but we made him wait for the last ones to finish their dinner (Edda & surprisingly, my father).  No photo of the cupcakes, they were gone quickly.

I want to write this down before I more time passes.  I’m sick (you know I’m really sick when I begrudgingly follow Jeremy’s stern suggestion without much protesting that I take Motrin instead of suffering and moaning because I know he is right and I need to feel good to fix a leaky toilet tout suite!) and Jeremy is stressed about work and we have 40 people coming for Thanksgiving and we are behind.  Because we are not our best selves right now, every decision is fraught with an edge of argument.  Should we go to dinner early or after our other obligation?  Should we order the green one or the yellow one?  How should we accommodate our overnight guests?  What exactly is sexual harassment?

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Friday, I went downtown to see Tony, Tash & Sara.  I had a minute to duck into West Elm, a catalog I have long received, but I have never stepped into a store.  I can honestly say – I want nothing in this store – it is all beautiful, but I desire none of it.

We met at Ted’s Bulletin on 14th street.

Baby Sara is a cutie-pie!

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Friday night, my parents and our neighbor Sophie went to see Vince’s The Little Mermaid.  It was beautifully done, the costumes were amazing – Vince told me they rented them from someplace.    Vince gave Sophie a tour of the control booth during intermission. The next night was closing night and Vince went to the afterparty.  He called me in my Mortin stupor at 9 pm Sat night as I was settling into bed – hey mom, we are going to the afterparty and staying until midnight.  Can you pick us up then…..?  Or we could take a Lyft….?  Yes love, I answer, please take a Lyft .  Then Vince says – feel better soon mom!  Then I realize that this is the first party he’s going to that is large and at some random person’s house (where?  I dunno, he answers, wait!  North Potomac somewhere) and I yell into the phone to try and catch him before he hangs up – make good choices!  use good judgement!  I didn’t get to yell – consent!  consent!  which I would have if I had had more of my wits about me. (Ack.  Then I go to sleep.)

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I spent all of yesterday slightly sick and getting sicker while fixing the toilet in the basement.  Bryan mentioned on Thursday that the toilet was leaking and he was game to help replace the wax ring – so we made a date on Saturday morning.  As soon as we lifted the toilet off, I knew it was going to be longer than the standard wax ring replacement hour-long repair.  The toilet flange was installed too high, about 1/2 inch higher than it should be and, as a result, the wax ring got smooshed too much resulting in the leaking and I knew it would leak soon again if I just replaced the ring and put it back into place.   They (the previous toilet installer (presumably the builder)) tried to shim the toilet into place, but 1/2 inch is a lot of shimming.

We basically had to raise the floor a half inch to meet the bottom of the toilet.  This involved a total of three trips to home depot,  2 wax rings (I always need 2 because I always screw up the first one) & a purchase of a jig saw.

We made a template for the base for a new toilet-shaped subfloor.  This was when I started sleeping on the couch kind of moaning and getting really sick.  This was when Jeremy told me gently, but with no nonsense tone, to take a Motrin and keep on keeping on fixing the toilet, for though these photos show Jeremy at home depot and cutting out the template, toilet fixing is in my wheelhouse and not his and we could not leave the downstairs tenants without a working toilet for longer than absolutely necessary.  I started the toilet project at 9 am and I finished less than 12 hours later at almost 9 pm.

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In the mid-day, we went to celebrate Nat & Dara’s new house!  I’m so happy for them :).