A big day here as a parent…Vince is launched! I mean, he was launched before, but last night he was talking to me about the first few days of grad school and mentioned that he did get his first paycheck direct deposited into his bank account. And then I said – ok, I’ll let your allowance go through tomorrow (Tuesday) and then I’ll stop the automatic transfers. And just like that, the last of the money went through today and I cancelled the transfers. He’s still on our phone plan, he’s still on my health insurance, he’s still on my Spotify account, but other than that, he’s on his own. I kind of can’t believe it. Of course, he’s never really on his own, I have his back, but still, a very momentous occasion for all of us.
Classes started for him last week and he’s been meeting with potential advisors to fill two rotation spots this quarter and next quarter before committing to an advisor. This has been going well, he’s found three different potential advisors who he thinks would be a good fit and vice versa (hopefully there is funding, it’s always about the funding) and the classes he’s taking sound manageable and good. I had such a bad experience myself in grad school which took so long for me to recover from that terrible and humiliating experience (where at every turn I felt stupid and like – wtf am I doing here?) that hearing such a nice start to his grad school years has made me relax a bit and be thrilled for him. Fingers crossed for a good grad school experience.
It’s also been nice seeing him out and about at concerts with friends. New friends and old friends blended all together. love you! xoxo, mom.
Loves, we are back from Vegas. OMG, I think I’ll never need to go back there again unless it is for some very compelling reason. So, our friend Tom, who was Vince’s scout leader for over a decade and tirelessly dragged him and his friends across the Eagle Scout finish line and mentored them all, had a stroke about three years ago and lost so much physical ability, but overall maintained his mental capacities, really wanted to celebrate his 70th birthday in Vegas. And they really wanted us to come and we really wanted to go. The birthday party was to be on Saturday and we were going to just fly in/out and stay a two nights, but Maryam (his wife) seemed disappointed that we weren’t going to fly in on Wed like they were (I actually wasn’t sure how much hanging out we were going to do together as this was going to be a semi-large family/friends thing), but she insisted that we were going to hang out together all the time, so we flew on Wed (literally craziness). Edda skipped school to play the slots.
We stayed at what we thought was the Paris hotel – we checked in at the Paris hotel lobby, but really, we stayed next door where we had to walk past the Paris hotel amenities for about 3 minutes. Do you see this line? This is not my favorite – people – but Jeremy managed the self service kiosk and we were in/out quickly.
Wed afternoon, we regrouped and found our friend Tom.
And I bought him a beer.
Tom et al are late risers. We are early risers made earlier by the time change. We tried to walk to Denny’s on the strip and we failed because it was so early that they hadn’t turned on the elevators to the overhead walkways. But we window shopped at the Gucci.
So, I didn’t know this about Vegas, but they’ve re created lots of European landmarks. It’s the craziest thing, really, but here’s the Eiffel tower.
Standing before the Arc de Triomphe. This is our party. Three wheelchairs! All flown in, so much travelling effort.
The three wheelchairs crossing the strip to get to the Bellagio.
Tom, a serious and orderly graduate from West Point (hence the dedication to scouts), married Maryam, a Persian who likes to party. They are completely and utterly devoted to each other. Maryam was completely in her element. I liked to call this weekend – partying with the Persians.
We had sweets at a bakery. Literally there is no place to sit down unless you want to pay – at a cafe, a bar, or a gambling table/slots.
And we did (except that I went to bed at 8 pm every night). We shopped at at least 4 Louis Vuitton boutiques looking for the perfect navy blue purse (not this season’s color, unfortunately).
We had the most expensive cocktail I’ve ever had at a Vanderpump restaurant.
We rode in a gondola at the Venetian (where I’m literally sitting next to Santa (Tom’s brother Dexter who does play Santa all over Texas)).
Went to see an aquarium.
Saw the Statue of Liberty (literally, wtf.)
Checked out the pool.
Saw the Eiffel Tower from the pool.
Finally, the party on Saturday am, where I struck a pose with maryam who is much better at it than I am.
Elvis came by and actually was so kind and funny.
And then we stayed the last night on Saturday night and then left super early on Sunday morning. Both very happy to have gone and spent all this time with their families and very happy to go home! So out of the ordinary for us and maybe a day too long, but at least we weren’t stuck (for two extra days!) there like some people due to the hurricane in the southeast of the US. Back at work/school for all us here.
Busy weekend. We are essentially down to one car – a few months ago, we loaned the minivan to Tom, our friend down the street who had a stroke three years ago because it has the transfer seat that we got for Edda. We love our van, but because Edda has grown taller since we bought the van, it’s actually easier to get her to sit in our regular sedan than to wait patiently for the seat to lift/lower on the van for everyday outings. So we loaned the van to Tom and after an initial hesitation for using it, I think they are using it almost everyday to get him to doctor’s appointments and outings – this became more clear to us when we asked for the van back for a week to go to New Hampshire in August. Soo….Jeremy and I are reluctant to ask for the van back permanently because they are using it much more than we were. Honestly, we use the van probably once a week to go to Home Depot and then for our summer road trips. But the van is very old now (2011) and the A/C seems to be flaky and honestly, we like the modern computer integration and safety features of a new car/van when we go on the road – so we thought maybe we’d go down to one car, sell them our minivan, and see if we can manage getting around with only one car. This…should theoretically be possible – we’d rent a minivan for our long vacations (though getting Edda in/out is more of a challenge in this situation) and use UBER and/or zip cars and/or an electric bike to get around town and also figuring out how to go to Home Depot to pick up a sheet of plywood. I think this one-car model is possible – I mean, neither of us drives to work, it should be possible and possibly be cheaper. But, I do not bear the brunt of this change – I usually have the car and abandon Jeremy at home, so he’s usually the one who has to do the secondary arrangement. Anyways, we haven’t sold the van yet, we are just practicing having only one car.
Like this weekend – I took the car to guitar lessons, an alone-time lunch, church to sing at choir and then to see a friend. So Jeremy was home without a car for long stretches.
Anyways, Sunday was lovely and busy. I went to church to sing – I enjoy this way of participating in church. I sing loudly and often off-key, but it’s ok. I came back to find my youthful landscape contractor, Noah, done trimming/weeding and mulching a patch of my yard next to the driveway. He did such a great job and then wanted to play trains with me. But we had to all dash. Next time!
I drove to Woodbine to see my friend Soojung who is helping me native plant my backyard. She gave me a bunch of plants, and we talked about plants and weeds and trees.
And then finally dinner with family where Edda fully enjoyed her chocolate cookie dessert and chocolate ice cream.
I’m enjoying the guitar/sining combination. It keeps me busy and happy and I like going to lessons as I don’t have to organize any socialization. Does that make any sense? I just show up and people are there.
Jeremy went to the restore yesterday to see if they wanted our old stove top. They don’t take anything older than 7 years and this one is probably 18 years old. So this is going to go to the metal scrap heap at the dump, which makes me a little sad.
Given that this is essentially trash, I took the pretty parts, the iron grates that we cooked thousands of meals on and made them into plant stands. Do I like them? I’m not sure. They actually have a slight coating of impenetrable food grease that probably needs to be blasted off in an oven-cleaning cycle, but I like that they’ll keep the wood dry. I really, really want to start what’s called a planted tank, which is a self contained aquarium focused mostly on plants instead of animals, but I don’t have time for that right now. I got other things to do.
Loves, my front foyer is becoming a jungle. I moved all the plants from the porch back into the house and had to get some grow lights for them all. The fiddle leaf fig and this pineapple plant both need a lot of light to pretend we are in the tropics all year round. I’m hoping to have a pineapple in like 2-3 years. I only get one per this plant, so I’m hoping that I get to eat it and not a squirrel. We’ll have to see.
We’ve been so, so busy this past week – Jeremy was out of town again to PA this time, we had take out twice this week – we usually don’t do takeout, but what can you do? This is the cute lucky cat display at our favorite Chinese place.
On Friday, Jeremy and Edda were all well enough to get their covid and flu shots and to celebrate (or compensate – oh yes, Jeremy just threw in an extra shingles shot, because, really, why not? we hate the shingles.), we went to Pike and Rose and ate out (!) and went to the dog park (Elka was thrilled!) and had ice cream. Jeremy, Edda and I are trying a new thing – to order modestly and take nothing home. Usually, we try to order a main dish for all of us and take the extra home, but this involves some willpower on our end to not eat all the fries and the food that you deemed “extra” and honestly, the fries are no good when you take them home. So for the three of us, we ordered two main dishes (chicken and veggie platter) and two sides (mac and cheese and fries) and we split them three ways. This way, we all got like 10 fries and Edda got a small-ish portion of mac and cheese and half of my chicken. And then we went to get ice cream. Edda and I usually get one mini ice cream each, but this time, we ordered one small cone (the next size up from mini) and I sheared the top ice cream off in a bowl for Edda and ate the rest of the ice cream with the cone myself. I think this saves on both money and calories, but none of the fun! Because you want the fun – it was such a nice night. I’m so happy Edda is well and enjoying fries and ice cream.
Edda is back at school! Yesterday was her first day back, but today she went without her NG tube. Jeremy’s at a work retreat about an hour away from the house – he’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. Fingers crossed we will be A-OK.
We’ve been working hard and spending money hard. Now that the college bills are done, we are trying to work on keeping the house from falling down. (I’m still giving Vince an allowance for food, but I’m eagerly waiting for his first meager grad school paycheck to clear so that I can stop giving him this $). This is new territory for both of us because the house was new build when we moved in and we paid zero attention to the house because we aren’t really very interested in it, but it is very much not new anymore. We are trying to make one of the secondary bedrooms with a fully accessible shower for Edda – she’s been showering all these years in the primary bathroom, which is fine, but we have little temporary ramps in there and it means that every single caregiver we’ve ever had has been in our bedroom all the time. So we’ve had contractors come and look – I have decor dreams like – I wanted penny tile in the floor bathroom, the contractor was like – there is a lot of grout for penny tiles, it’ll be hard to clean and maintain and they are prone to having problems. And then I thought- I don’t want penny tile in the bathroom. What I want is strong, easy to maintain and clean – which apparently means, no penny tile. (You know the old fashioned white hexagonal tile with the black hexagons that make a flower?, so lovely). The drainage around the house needs to be fixed as the driveway is tilted towards the house and the water is not effectively removed from where the driveway meets the house. Lots of texting with friends and family to ballpark what a reasonable estimate is and to get their invoices and all I can say it that it is EXPENSIVE.
I spent Monday morning volunteering for Main Street at their annual big fundraiser – a golf tournament. I felt pretty lousy from the vaccines, but I popped a few Motrin and headed out.
The golf event was held at Woodmont Country Club which is located less than 10 minutes from our house. I’ve never been to this country club, but I’ve driven by it weekly through my childhood and adulthood. It’s located on the Rockville Pike which is a huge road artery through town which has things like: the Container Store, REI, LL Bean, Hooters, the Party Store, etc. In the midst of all this, there is an enormous lawn (probably 2-3 football field size) that has a loooonngg driveway that disappears behind some trees.
I don’t know what happened because this is a $80,000 initiation fee country club, maybe I’m jaded by Instagram, but I wanted the Country Club to be fancier as I walked through the property. In what way, I can’t really put into words? Because, it was super fancy already. I just wanted a little photo filtering on what I was seeing.
This was a tremendous amount of work to coordinate – food, entertainment, prizes, 230 golfers (they sold out), volunteers, so much to put together and I was happy to volunteer and will continue to do so.
Have I ever been on a fancy golf course? I’m not quite sure. There are like 7 types of grass, the finest grass nearest the hole. I learned many things about golf and country clubs, the most interesting one is that for a couple, the CC membership is only under one name because if the couple splits, they do not want to be in any argument of who the owns the membership.
So, my general observations on Country Club life: it is nice and fun in a particular way. I could see how it would be fun. And I had fun – lots of jokes, lots of food, beautiful grounds, lovely company and conversation, etc. But man, it’s like a throwback to the 1950s. Almost all the golfers were white men, almost all the volunteers were white women and our role was basically to provide light and fun conversation. All the staff were people of color. Sooo…not my favorite scene. Cigars! Really?! Yes, there were cigars. I also was not dressed properly. I mean, I did not stick out, but I had obviously not understood “country club casual” which I was instructed to be – no denim. So I wore black flats, a black summer strappy cotton dress with a fitted bodice and large skirt and a white linen button down unbuttoned. But everyone else wore sneakers, shorts, a golf shirt and a fleece jacket. I thought all these items (save the golf shirt, as…you know, it’s for golf – but only for the players and not the volunteers), would not be appropriate. And I see how the flats were not the right shoes because I ended up tromping over hill and dale after my shift was over to avoid riding golf carts and to go for a walk. Golf – a good walk spoiled.
Edda was home on Monday, but is at school today! She’s almost back to her old self. We are trying to pull an earlier appointment for her to see Eric up at CHOP.
Edda is home today – but fingers crossed for the last day at home. This is the first day she’s eating her regular food well. This past weekend was only ice cream and birthday cake. Today, she’s been able to enjoy scrambled eggs, pasta, bananas, etc. We are writing to her neuro for further guidance.
Meanwhile, I’m feeling extra lousy because I got my Covid & flu vaccines on Sunday. We were all supposed to get them, but I cancelled Edda’s appointment and Jeremy’s because they were not feeling well. Now I’m feeling the worse out of all three.
I have too many hobbies. I joined the choir at the Unitarian church down the street at the beginning of Sept. I joined because it is my dream to play 4 chords on the guitar and sing at the same time – like a nice campfire song, that’s all I want. I’m working on the guitar, but I needed help with the singing, so I thought, hey – I’ll join the choir. I thought maybe I could tuck in unnoticed into rehearsal and that the performances were only one Sunday a month, but….turns out they are a little undersubscribed on membership and for sure, they would notice if I was gone and the performances are twice a month. And even though I haven’t been to services regularly in a decade, people kind of know me and I was welcomed back enthusiastically and emotionally. I had a meeting with the choir director, who I really like and already told him I couldn’t make the Christmas Eve service and he kind of looked…very disappointed.
Jeremy was not yet home, Ginny stayed late at the house to mind Edda. Ginny actually goes to church with a Capital C, so she might have said something like – of course I’ll watch Edda so you can sing in the house of the Lord. And I said, I’m not sure God is at this church, I think the UUs purposely avoid mentioning Him. and she said – Nonsense,God is everywhere!
By Friday, Jeremy was home and Edda had a quiet day, hanging out at home, taking meds, water and Ensure through her little tube. No seizures, also she did not want to eat by mouth. But there was a little smile here and there.
Saturday was my birthday! Eliana came to mind Edda from 8-3pm, I trained her with the tube and Jeremy and I headed out for my birthday lunch. I had long noodles for long life per the Asian custom. Then we went out to buy non-IKEA furniture which is what I asked for for my birthday. We bought a couch and a recliner to replace the IKEA couch and chairs we’ve had for at least a decade and are all falling apart. We literally bought the same couches in the same color. It would not be unlikely that when we take delivery of the in a few months, absolutely no one will notice the difference. Why replace them then? I have no idea, it’s just what I wanted.
Edda gave me the best birthday gift ever, a no seizure day and she started to eat by mouth. Sure only ice cream and birthday cake, but I’ll take it. Megan came over to celebrate in our low-key way. Jeremy made a delicious steak dinner – beef is so unusual in the house, we try to not eat it regularly because of the climate implications (remember, Jeremy is an expert in cow poop), but for special occasions, Jeremy’ll make it for me.
My favorite cake, berry chantilly (also Edda’s favorite) with my ridiculous hat. And a fond reminiscence to Maxi, our previous dog, who would always sing with us while we sang Happy Birthday – you were missed sweetie. Happy birthday to me! With love to you all.
