Helmet Love


Lately, I’ve been going out on some dates. While I’m not going to talk about them on the blog, I think it’s quite interesting to take note of how I react to people and dating.

I guess I’ve been single for a long time, and I’m under the impression that I do want to be with someone. But I think it’s funny to note my pattern – basically I flirt with everyone, and don’t pursue it past that. (I do have a very loose definition of what flirting is.) For the most part, it’s fun, and mostly harmless. We talk, we laugh, connect and generally have a good time. But a couple things I think emerge from my pattern:

– I don’t want to be hurt
– I don’t want to hurt someone else
– Being responsible for someone else’s feelings/well being weighs heavily on me

I think it comes from some sort of insecurity about the future, or the uncertainty surrounding my life. But perhaps on the flipside, being committed to someone, some place, something, would ground me… but do I want to drag someone into that process?

Moving.

Edda is still slowly pulling out of her summer cold. Vince’s version lasted for 3 days, so this is day 3 for Edda and it’s plotting the same course. Jeremy mentioned that it’s good she’s getting better since she has her 24 hour EEG tomorrow morning. I’m looking at her now, she’s watching Little Einsteins, tottering around in her diaper and pantsless and smiling. It’s a good thing.

Jeremy took the day off to help coordinate the movers who came today to shelp all of our stuff from the basement of my parents’ house to the new house about 15 minutes away. Jeremy loves the physicallity of moving – he loves to pack and unpack and decide where all the furniture goes. I don’t really care that much and this move in particular, I got a little but of joshing about my non-professional packing job that I did with the office/desk/papers that were in the study – so I ended up packing only the things that belonged to me (which I consider to be pretty much just my own clothes). Jeremy and I have a long running joke in our marriage that I don’t actually own any of our stuff, it’s all just his. I refuse to “own” anything because I’m in love with the idea that my life can fit in my car which is some throwback to a my fantasy about living in NYC in a studio apartment by myself with a futon and a crate for a chair.

Gossip.

Found out today that one of my ex-girlfriends is getting married next year. I’m actually pretty happy for her, and tho we dated for only a brief period, I look back pretty fondly on the relationship. However I do find it pretty funny in a couple ways:

1) I find it funny that I have go seek out information about my ex-girlfriends. Not a single one of my friends ever offers me information about them. Dating a guy, breaking up with a guy, getting engaged. That’s all pretty juicy gossip. Not a whisper.

2) For this particular ex, we only dated for like 2-3 months. But it was a funny time in both our lives, as she had broken up with her first bf, and I was trying to get over an ex of mine as well. A little bit after we broke up, she ended up going out with him again, and today, I find out they are getting married. Just think it’s a bit funny how I managed to get slotted in the middle of all that somewhere.

We talk once in a very blue moon… but always sorta curious about how she viewed our relationship. I’ll probably never end up knowing. 🙂

In other random news, there’s another possibility that another one of my ex’s is married and preggers! Tho, my sources could be totally making that up… I’ll have to get confirmation sometime in the near future.

Edda’s big adventure.

While we were in upstate NY, Edda regularly got up at 4:30 am – we took her on the early morning bagel run. The morning light was wonderful, but for the life of me, I couldn’t convince her to stop mouthing for the photo.

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Edda is hanging out at home with us this week. It was going to be a fantabulous week, no school, just summer and hanging out with the 3 adults – no Vincent to take over the TV or leave his Legos scattered all over the living room creating a painful obstacle course.

But on the drive down from upstate NY, Edda spiked a fever and spent last night shivering between doses of Motrin and Tylenol. But right before we realized that Edda was getting sick, we were getting off the freeway to find a McDonalds, and we ended up in Easton, PA, home of Crayola and they just happened to have Dora visiting!

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Reviews

Here’s my book reviews:

Better: A Surgeon’s Notes on Performance by Atul Gawande

In medicine, mistakes costs lives. Gawande gives a stark examination on how doctors and the health care system can better serve their patients. He brings to bear a vast arsenal of resources: history, statistics, publications, technology, his own experience as a surgeon, and his own time in the field examining the processes, systems, and techniques of doctors and clinics around the world. All the while, he never loses sight of the fact that medicine has a very human element – every single mistake has a human cost. So it’s ironic, when Gawande realizes that solution lies not in new technology or research, but in reducing the human frailty of health care workers. Simply that health care can do better, thru diligence, understanding their patients better, creating performance metrics, improving those metrics, and examining what the very best in the field are doing differently. Not to say his answers are easy or clear cut, but they are well within our capability. If nothing else, health care professionals could just wash their hands more. 🙂

I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max

Tucker Max is indeed an asshole. He makes no qualms about it. He revels in it. He shares it with you in this book, and you find yourself inexplicably laughing out loud ever 3-4 paragraphs. Unlike The Game, don’t expect some soul searching metamorphosis in the end. Tucker only shows you his drunk, raving side. But it’s the other side, the side of him that he hints at throughout the book, the side that has him “matured” at 31 vs 24, that you end up being most curious about. Sadly, There’s no incentive for Tucker to reveal his alter ego, so take the book for what it really is – your drunk, sex crazed friend, telling you some shit-ass f’in’ hilarious stories.

Life of Pi by Yann Martel

A wonderful tale of vivid detail and incredulity. It’s like eating a steak in The Matrix. You know it’s probably all fake, but the richness of texture, the nuance of flavor, makes you wish it was oh so real.

Vincent’s big adventure.

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Vince’s last day of camp was on Friday, we actually picked him up early to head up north to Jeremy’s parents’ house where he’s going to spend a week in “the country” with Kiki and Kappa. It isn’t really the country, as it’s still just 15 minutes from the Target, but there are farms and goats and chickens within a 5 mile radius of the house, all of which are illegal in any neighborhood at home with an attentive home owner’s association.

We all headed back down south of the Mason-Dixon line today after a too-short visit. Edda is now sick with the family bug – the last one in the long line… First, Vincent, then Jeremy and I, then Yvonne and now Edda.

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