Author: Doris

Our last camp-out trip with the Cub Scouts happened this past weekend. Ruby was the doggie that got to go, she loves going on hikes with the kids, getting extra attention, looking for dropped s’mores and bits of KFC fried chicken. And she doesn’t run away when you drop the leash, BONUS!  Somehow, we are surrounded by a million cub scouts and their little sisters (all Edda’s age – bittersweet, but more sweet that night than bitter) who all swarm around and play with fire while the parents talk politics.

I love when camping is car camping and only 20 minutes away. I means that Edda and I can pop in for dinner, bring the forgotten items like bug spray and skedaddle out of there in time for bed time in our own beds at home!

Watching Project Runway – so much crying! So many sequins! Edda is even inspired by the crazy fashions, she looks much, much better with longer hair and bangs.  We are patiently waiting for her hair to grow out. I am doing this while trying to study for my anatomy class on Friday. So many types of epithelial cells and my poor brain is so full, I can’t fit any more into it. Off to give Edda a shower. Kisses everyone!

In the past few days, I have repaired a broken window, shampooed three extremely smelly (and relatively remorse) dogs, replaced a wax ring on a toilet that was flooding semi-sewage water in one of our bathrooms and cut a hole in the ceiling of our living room through which I stuck my head which resulted in dirt smudge on my cheek which my neighbor saw and asked if my head was OK to which I responded that I was cutting holes in my house that I was not sure if I could repair. And yet, I am in a pretty good mood. I credit it all to the weather and the fact that nothing is really acutely wrong. We are all healthy and have each other and I am extremely grateful. Edda did cry and cry last Monday, but she has been unusually cheerful (or back to her usual cheerfulness) for the rest of the week and weekend, it was like a little miracle for me – having the good old Edda back. Life can be full of frustrations and unhappiness and sadness and I live everyday to try again to find the goodness and tenderness and comedy (which is always bubbling up to the surface), even elbow-deep in the guts of a broken toilet.

Someone on the PTA decided to send home a fundraising brochure with pizza and chicken nuggets. Usually it is wrapping paper, but somehow one can order pizza a month in advance. So curious.

So after the terrible, no good, very bad day on Monday with Edda – yesterday Edda was full of smiles and happiness – even at therapy and at a play date arranged by Se Hyun. Was yesterday any different than Monday? Well, school was in session which leads me to think that a regular schedule is what was missing, but again, I really don’t know. I understand that there are days where everyone gets to feel like they are at the end of their rope, I just wish I knew what triggered it for Edda.

Also, I get lulled into complacency, sometimes we will have 2-3 days in a row of Edda happiness and then I will feel good and optimistic think that heaven above has shone down on me and then I will get walloped with a day of 4-5 hours of crying and I will wallow in my ineptitude of being a mother who is unable to make her daughter happy.

Edda’s mood swings are not the only thing on my mind these days, things are crazy around here, the house needs some repairs including a leak in the ceiling, leaking gutter caused by a falling branch, a broken window caused by a little imp in the house. Work is also heading into the end of the fiscal year at the end of September which means I’m in a little bit of a patent crunch. Nonetheless – I found myself (out of necessity) driving around town yesterday with all three dogs in the van mid-day (Ruby is in the picture, you can make out her shadow behind the crates).

I will not bore you with my dog saga – but thankfully it was a cool, cloudy day yesterday and I could leave them in the car while I tried on some crazy shoes designed by Jessica Simpson at TJ Maxx.

So yesterday was the Jewish New Year and we had a doozy of a day. The kids didn’t have school yesterday, so I arranged for Vince to have a playdate, Se Hyun was on Edda duty for most of the day while I worked upstairs. Se Hyun took Edda to the park and Edda cried the whole time, then the two came home and I could hear Edda crying on and off for the next few hours while I raced through my day’s work. I relieved Se Hyun at 3:30pm when I emailed in my last patent for the day and then Edda cried for me for three hours while I held her closely in her bed trying to get her to take a nap. Then took her downstairs and buckled her into a chair in front of the TV so I could get dinner going without having her follow me around the house crying and putting her hands onto the hot stove – grilled ham and cheese and broccoli. She cried a lot of the time. Then Jeremy came home and we served dinner and Edda cried some more. Jeremy and Vince went out to a cub scout meeting and Se Hyun helped clean up the kitchen.  Then 7:30 came rolling around and I took Edda upstairs (crying) and she went to bed peacefully (although without getting her teeth brushed, I can’t bear to brush her teeth when she is crying.  Then I came downstairs to discover the leak in the ceiling has developed into a small deluge.  Then I wanted to cry – but I just ate some snacks instead.  Sigh.  I think I’m going to go get a snack now.

I partied like a pug in a belly dancing outfit!

My beautiful pregnant friend. I can’t wait to meet the little guy!